The Marauders - Order of the Phoenix - Part Two

Self-Beating Bludgers

"And this hand - this hand right here - this very one - he took it and he pulled me to my feet and our eyes met and it was love at first sight... Tried to sweep me off my feet, he did, but I told him -- no, Freddie, we are but star-crossed lovers... I cannot be your tour-whore as I've a husband already, and he has a great ass. And Freddie Mercury, he said to me to make sure that Remus knows he must love me with all his heart and also to give his great ass a slap for him... Like this." 

Sirius turned and slapped Remus's ass as Remus walked past at that very moment in what had to be the greatest timing imaginable.

Remus ducked away. "You have got to stop doing that!" he said.

Sirius grinned.

Frank and Alice stared at Sirius for several long seconds, then turned to look at one another. Frank looked back to Sirius. "You're absolutely full of so much shit that it's coming out of your mouth and nose."

"Yeah bullocks!" cried Alice, shaking her head.

"Absolute bullocks!" Frank echoed.

Sirius grinned, "He really did say that, rather. And then he gave me that rose up there - the one on the mantel."

Alice looked over her shoulder at the single red rose that stood in a black vase on the fireplace mantel next to a frame that held the concert ticket and a photo of James, Lily, Remus, and Sirius at the concert, all waving ecstatically. She looked at Frank.

Frank shook his head, then, as Remus returned and took a seat next to Sirius on the couch, he said, "Oi, Lupin, what actually happened?" 

"I haven't the foggiest," Remus answered, "Sirius got separated from the rest of us and we were trying to find him in that crowd. Finally found him and he was raving on about all this. Every time he tells it, the story changes."

Sirius grinned, "Only slightly."

Remus ceded, "Some of the more unbelievable details do remain intact across broad variations, however, such as the hand touching and the ass slapping, but the tour-whore invitation appears to be an embellishment."

Frank eyed Sirius.

Sirius grinned. "What Freddie and I shared that night was too precious for words."

Alice shook her head, "Bullocks."

"Doesn't this make you insanely jealous, though, Lupin?" Frank asked, looking to Remus.

Remus shrugged, "He came home with me in the end, didn't he? Worst case scenario, I'm better than Freddie Mercury."

Alice doubled over with laughter and Frank choked on the mouthful of pumpkin juice he'd just taken in.

"Loads better," Sirius murmured, leaning over to kiss Remus's cheek.

"And how did you enjoy France, you lot?" Alice asked, swiveling in her seat to look at Lily and James, who were sharing one of the other chairs - James draped across Lily's lap, a Quality Quidditch Supplies catalog open on his lap as he flipped through, biting his tongue while concentrating.

Lily's voice was dreamy, "Oh it was so wonderful. It was like living a storybook. We saw so many wonderful things..."

"Or at least snogged in front of them," James input. He looked up and winked at Frank, who chuckled and raised his glass in appreciation.

Alice giggled. "You two are so grossly in love it's not even right."

"As though you're ones to talk!" James said. "Where is it that you're off to during the Spring break?"

Frank opened his mouth, but before he could get the words out, Sirius started singing. "Her name was Lola, she was a showgirl... with yellow feathers in her hair and dress cut down to there... she would merengue and do the chacha ad while she tried to be a star, Tony always tended bar, across the crowded floor they worked from eight til four... they were young and had each other... who could ask for moooore?"