Black And White

Confusion

If I'm being honest with myself
a part of me wants to stay here.
A part of me is screaming
for me to plant my roots right here,
build my life right here.

But another part of me is begging
to be let free to the world out there.
To pursue everything that awaits me.
To find what I'm looking for.
To build my dreams up in a place
far from where I am now.

Years ago, when I first started building these dreams
I had nothing here for me.
No friends, no family, nothing to hold on to.
It was easy back then to say
that I wanted to leave it all behind,
because there was nothing to leave behind.

But here I am now wondering
if I even want to leave.
I'm burning to let go of this place.
Things are just starting to fall into place.
I'm close as can be with my friends.
My family is finally coming together
and I feel like even if I wanted to leave it all behind
that a part of me would always be here.

And that's what scares me more than anything.
Not leaving or forgetting, but rather
wanting to come back to the place that broke me.

{ 2017 }