Black And White

The Things I do

When the thoughts start rolling in
And the doubts start dripping down
When my heart starts caring too much
And my head starts moving too fast

My body begins to withdraw
And my walls begin to go up
My voice begins to waver
And I start to disappear

I tend to get scared
I tend to feel like people merely tolerate me
I tend to let my heart bleed
I tend to drown in my own thoughts

And because of these things
I push people away
I push myself down
I hide my true feelings

I love all of these people
I love them all so much
But I can't let them in
I can't let myself breathe around them

I shut them out
I cry about them
I don't have reason to
But I do

I want to let them in
I want to show them all my scars
I want them to love me for me
But then it would be on me

It'll be on all of me
The good parts and the bad
So I hide who I am
To protect who I used to be

These are the things I do
To people I love
These are the things I do
To myself

{ June 2015 }