However Do You Want Me... || Chenford / The Rookie

Part 18

The next few weeks of the competition pass in a blur, and things between Lucy and Tim return to a semblance of what normal was between them — Lucy teasing Tim mercilessly after kicking his ass in a swim challenge; the two of them seamlessly working together to dominate the remaining mostly physical challenges with consistent finishes in the Top 3; and an unspoken, but firmly committed, avoidance of any further discussion about feelings or their relationship or anything that happened between them in the few short lustful and hormone-fueled days that now seem more like some kind of fever dream than something that had actually happened.

But they had happened, and they had given rise to a few notable exceptions, given life to a new kind of normal between them — Tim making a point to occasionally offer up more tidbits about himself, his family, and his life outside of work; bits of unintentional physical contact — a brush here, a graze there — that neither would have thought twice about before, giving rise to intensely charged and unexpected moments of heat, only to be immediately suppressed by the third new thing; a new kind of guardedness, a wariness, an invisible barrier carefully erected to protect each of their hearts — the only way to survive a reality in which whatever beautiful and terrifying thing it was that had started to build between them just isn't meant to be explored any further.

***

Unsurprisingly, Tim and Lucy qualify for the Final, joining three other teams on a flight to Iceland for what is sure to be a grueling finish to their reality TV competition adventure in below-freezing temperatures.

The night before the Final, neither Lucy nor Tim is oblivious to the irony of finally having a private hotel room to themselves, only to be desperately wishing for something, anything, to distract from the mounting tension that seems to make the air itself harder to breathe on the rare occasion they happen to find themselves alone together these days.

Tim glances uncomfortably at the massive king bed. "I'll take the floor?" he offers unenthusiastically, knowing that a solid night of sleep will be crucial if he has any hope of surviving the notoriously brutal final challenge.

Lucy follows his gaze and then shakes her head, "Don't be an idiot. This bed is massive. Besides, we're two mature, consenting adults. There's no reason —" she stops short when she sees Tim's eyes widen.

"Consenting to sharing the bed —" she rushes to clarify, "Not to — uh... oh my god," she covers her flushing face as Tim laughs, flinging a pillow in her direction.

She drops her hands and rolls her eyes, propping the flung pillow along the center of the bed as a pseudo wall, "You know what I mean," she huffs.

Tim nods, lips pursed to hold in further laughter at her expense, "Yeah. I got it."

Lucy collapses on top of the sheets and exhales a deep sigh as she stares at the ceiling, and Tim follows suit, both too wired to shut off the lights and attempt sleep, but also certain that is exactly what they should be doing.

Lucy eventually turns to face him, wrapping her arms around the makeshift pillow barrier, "I'm kind of nervous. These Finals... what I've seen on past seasons — they're insane."

Tim turns toward her, propping his head up on his hand so that he can see her face, momentarily losing himself in her expressive brown eyes. He doesn't realize he's reaching for her until his hand is in mid-air. He drops it abruptly, allowing it to settle on the pillow wall mere centimeters from her arm.

Her eyes have followed his movement, darting back up to meet his when he speaks, "You'll be fine, Lucy. You're a badass — all you have to do is decide you want to crush this, and the Final doesn't stand a chance."