However Do You Want Me... || Chenford / The Rookie

Part 27

Tim draws open the curtains so they can watch the sunrise the next morning, crawling back into the bed next to Lucy and wrapping his arms around her as she snuggles into him.

"I guess it's really here," he says softly, "Last day before we have to get back to our real lives."

Lucy swallows, feeling a swell of panic rise up in her chest at the idea that this thing between them could end before it's even really had a chance to start.

"Tim?"

And he can hear the tension in her voice. "What's wrong?"

She shakes her head against his chest and he slides out from under her, sitting up so he can see her face. "Lucy?"

She turns and buries her face in her pillow, and then Tim is pulling her up next to him, hand gently turning her chin back toward him, "Hey. No. Come on. Look at me. What's wrong, Lucy?"

"I just — never mind. I don't want to talk about this yet."

"Talk about what?" he asks, though he's willing to put money on the fact that he already knows exactly what.

Her voice is thick when she finally manages to respond, "I'm scared. What's going to happen to us?"

Tim's face is pained when he responds, "I wish I knew Lucy, but I don't."

"I'm so sorry, Tim," she says, her eyes sad.

"For what?" he questions, slipping his arm around her, unable to be this close to her and not be touching her, unable to see her in distress and not be comforting her.

She swallows, "You're such a good man, Tim. It's absolutely why I couldn't stop myself from — I just — I know that doing this — being with me... like this — it's costing you something." Tim's eyebrows furrow. "And I know you, and as much as I might tease you about your code, I know how much it matters to you and —"

"You matter to me, Lucy. And it may have taken me way too long to realize this — but you're worth it, you are always going to be worth it. No matter how any of this turns out."

"Because I let you bang me six ways from Sunday last night?"

"Exactly," he teases. His smile fades almost as quickly as it appears, "This is costing you something too, Lucy."

Lucy nods, eyes filling as she swallows, trying to keep her emotions in check, "You know what the dumbest part of all of this is? I wouldn't even care if people found out we were dating now. I survived being buried alive by a serial killer. I went undercover as a chemist — not a stripper, not a prostitute — but a freaking chemist. I successfully took down two drug cartels on my own. So —"

"You are so hot when you're cocky."

Lucy stares at him, "Really, Tim? Now?"

He shrugs, tipping her chin up so he can kiss her, "You are also really hot when you're all worked up like this."

She pushes him back, rolling her eyes.

"And when you're pissed at me," he tugs at one of her curls.

"Shut up, Tim, and let me finish my tirade. Anyway, you know what? If people want to judge me for falling in love with my former T.O., who, granted, does seem to have a bit of a freaky authority kink, then that's on them. But the implication that — that you took advantage of me when you were my boss, or that I had to trade sexual favors to pass my rookie year — it's so gross."

Tim stares at her, brows knitting together in concentration, "Maybe that's it."

"What's it?" Lucy asks in confusion.