However Do You Want Me... || Chenford / The Rookie

Part 20

The morning starts with yet another brutal uphill multi-mile trek in well below freezing temperatures to the first checkpoint — a perplexing stick puzzle with 12 forty-pound logs and instructions to use them to create 6 complete boundaries of equal size.

Tim dives in, lifting and rearranging the logs, while Lucy stands back, trying to visualize what the end result might look like.

Tim huffs in frustration after multiple failed attempts, Lucy's own agitation growing as his constant shifting of the logs makes it more difficult for her to concentrate.

"Are you just going to stand there or are you going to help?" he blurts.

"Tim, can you just stop?" Lucy snaps at the same time.

They glare at each other briefly before Tim throws up his hands, clearly exhausted from the trek and the handling of the logs, "Fine. You do it."

Lucy sighs, frowning, but doesn't argue, using the newfound silence and stillness to refocus on the task. After a few minutes of ignoring Tim's silent seething impatience, she snaps her fingers, "I've got it!"

She turns an apologetic smile to Tim as she starts to tug the first log into place. "Will you still help me move them?" she asks sweetly.

Tim rolls his eyes, but she doesn't miss the tiny glimmer of pride in his eyes as he awaits her instruction, and it gives life to a small trill of energy that starts deep in her stomach and ends up somewhere between her legs. Damn that bastard and his ridiculous praise kink theories...

"So... you only want me for my body, then?" Tim asks with an arched eyebrow, and she briefly wonders if he somehow knows what he can do to her with a simple look.

She forces her attention away from ideas of exactly how she might make use of said body and back to the puzzle, clearing her throat, "At the moment, yes. Can you bring that one here, please?"

***

They leave the other teams in the dust at the puzzle checkpoint, continuing their trek through the harsh conditions to the second checkpoint of the day.

Lucy quickly begins to notice that she is having an easier time keeping up with Tim as compared to the day prior; to notice how much more energy he has to exert with each of his steps sinking deep into the snow, whereas, for the most part, she is able to avoid breaking through at all; to notice the sound of his breathing more distinctly as the air only continues to get thinner as they hike further and further up the mountain. She knows his larger size is amplifying the impacts of the difficult terrain, and she briefly wonders if maybe they should slow down, if their pace isn't entirely sustainable. But with no clear indication of how far they are from the finish, it's difficult to know whether it makes sense to take their feet off the gas pedal.

The next checkpoint requires that they tunnel their way through a snowdrift using ice axes. Lucy steps up into the narrow space in front of the drift next to Tim, wholeheartedly thwacking away at the ice, but Tim quickly loses patience, "Lucy, I don't want to accidentally hit you, can you just get out of the way?"

She frowns and steps back, feeling equal parts hurt and miffed at his uncharacteristic dismissal of her, but chalks it up to the impacts of his exhaustion and his intense desire to win.

She does have to admit he makes quick work of it once he has more space, absolutely demolishing the stubborn ice with each full-body swing, and damn, it is a sight to see. Her irritation melts into something else entirely as she watches him work, wondering if she can convince him it will be more efficient if he attempts the feat shirtless. Only wants him for his body, indeed.

She is almost disappointed when he makes enough progress that he has to crawl into the drift to continue, and the show comes to an abrupt end.

Lucy decides to wait until Tim makes it all the way through the bank before following him through the cramped tunnel to avoid making the space any darker or more cramped than it already is, and to allow him the option to turn back, in case he needs it.

Tim is completely spent by the time he makes it through to the other side, tumbling out onto the snow next to the small exit hole. The only upside is that he's certain it should be far easier for Lucy to follow, given his work clearing the ice and her smaller size. He cranes his neck to check her progress and is stunned to see daylight coming through from the entrance.

"Hurry up, Chen!" he shouts. He groans in frustration when she doesn't immediately move, "Come on! Stop dawdling. This should be easy for you. You're tiny."

Lucy has done plenty of therapy to work through any remaining impact from her time in the barrel; she wouldn't have been able to return to work if she hadn't, and she had known full well going into this that claustrophobia is a common fear the show was likely to exploit at some point, but she's still human. She ignores Tim, taking a few extra moments to steel herself before climbing into the drift. Even though Tim has done the bulk of the work in clearing the ice, the journey is still challenging. Lucy focuses intently on her breathing, taking slow, shallow breaths as she works to wiggle her body through the narrow opening.

Tim is waiting for her on the other side, reaching in to tug her through the rest of the way as soon as he can reach her. By the time she's standing back on her own two feet, it's clear that Tim has realized his misstep if the soft expression on his face is any indication.

She shrugs him off when he reaches for her, "It's fine. I'm fine. Let's just go."

Tim shakes his head and gently tugs her back, pulling her into his arms, and Lucy is surprised at how welcome the hug is — how much she needs this little bit of kindness and comfort after the physical, emotional, and mental exhaustion of their journey so far — and so she stops fighting him, allowing herself to relax into his hold and just enjoy the rare and unexpected show of affection from him. He presses his lips to her forehead before pulling back from her, "You are so fearless and incredible that sometimes I forget... I'm sorry I was a dick."

Lucy smiles, tugging him with her by his jacket pocket as she continues forward before tossing over her shoulder, "Why do I feel like that's going to be your epitaph?"

***

Snowshoes and poles are waiting for them on the other side of the embankment. It's both a relief to finally have proper gear and a worrying indication that they still have quite a ways to go on their journey.

The climb continues to become steeper, each of them periodically dropping to all fours to keep balance on the terrain and continue forward in the face of the intense winds. Lucy eventually passes Tim, offering him a few words of breathy encouragement and occasionally checking over her shoulder to ensure they are still in shouting distance of one another (though even that is debatable over the sound of the howling winds), but mostly just focusing intently on putting one foot in front of the other, so exhausted that she is almost certain that even the smallest break in rhythm will drive her to collapse on the ground and weep for reprieve from this hellscape.

She's surprised she even hears it — the sound of his surprised "Fuck!" — before she turns to see his flailing body sliding down the mountain.

"TIM!" she screams, scrambling to reverse course and chase after him as he continues to descend — further and further and impossibly further — slipping and falling and skidding downhill on her own ass multiple times in her haste as she yells for a medic at the top of her lungs.

He falls so far down before coming to a stop that she loses sight of him for a bit, panic rising in her throat, sure that there's no way he could have survived a fall like that without multiple broken bones, if not more significant injuries.

"TIM!" she shrieks again, the wind throwing her cries back in her face, barely registering that the crew is also shouting something after her. She moves as quickly as she can, certain she won't actually be able to take another breath until she catches sight of his teal jacket.

But he's so, so still. Too still. She feels as if she can hear her heart thudding almost out of her chest as she finally gets close enough to see him — to make out actual body parts; to make out that he is lying face down, so, so impossibly still; to make out the garish streak of red in the snow next to his head.