However Do You Want Me... || Chenford / The Rookie

Part 23

Lucy groans in frustration, covering her face with her hands, "I don't know. You started it."

Tim laughs miserably, "I know. I'm sorry. I shouldn't —"

"Don't," Lucy interrupts, "Please don't. I can't take being called a mistake or an accident or inappropriate or whatever again, Tim. It hurts."

She moves to turn away from him, but he tugs her back, hauling her up into a seated position and pulling her so tightly against his chest that Lucy has to protest.

"Shit," he relaxes his hold but doesn't let her go. "Shit. You're not, Lucy. You're not any of those things. I just — How have I fucked all of this up so badly?"

Lucy pulls back from him with a shrug, "I may have helped a little, but you're right. It was mostly you."

He rolls his eyes, and raises his hands in surrender, "Okay, then what do you think we should do?"

Lucy shifts to her knees, sliding her arms around his neck, "Well, if you really want my opinion...?"

He nods.

"Since you royally fucked it all up anyway by kissing me on national TV and then coming here and kissing me again, I say we should just fuck it and get naked already."

Tim winces, "I really fucked up, didn't I?"

Lucy sighs, kissing his cheek before moving to nuzzle her face into his neck, "You're focusing on the wrong part."

Tim groans, using his arms to squeeze her more tightly against him, "Which part was I supposed to be focusing on, again?"

"The part where we get naked now and figure the rest out later."

He pulls back to look at her, expression still serious despite her teasing, "Lucy. Are you sure? I just don't — I'd never want to do anything that would hurt you... even though it seems like I've managed to fuck that up as well."

"Can we just agree that this was an equal opportunity fuck up and that I don't want to hurt you either and that I'm also tired of pretending like I don't want this and I don't want you and I don't know what the answer is but I'd rather we figure it out together than apart?" she sucks in a breath, the relief of finally just putting everything out there leaving her lighter than she's felt in a very long time.

Tim just stares at her before he starts to laugh.

"What?" Lucy asks defensively.

Tim shakes his head, "Nothing. It's just — you were right. You definitely should have been calling the shots."

A smile curves her lips, "It's okay. I think we established today that I'm the brains, and you're only here for your body."

"I feel so objectified."

"As you should," she slides her hand seductively along the curve of his bicep, "I'm only here for these arms, Bradford. And, well, maybe these abs... And most definitely for the —"

Tim yanks her into his lap before her fingers can slide under the elastic waistband of his track pants, snaking his hand around to the back of her head to pull her in for another kiss, "Oh yeah? And what was that thing you said we should do next?"

"Get naked," she moans against his mouth.

He catches her bottom lip between his teeth, "Thank god for empty threats."

Lucy pulls back in confusion.

"Your cruel promise that I'd never see you naked again from this morning..." Tim fills in. "That was brutal, Lucy. Even for you."

Lucy laughs, raising her hand to his cheek, "Aw. I'm sorry, Tim. Did I hurt your feelings?" She presses a kiss to his other cheek as he nods sadly, before slipping out of his lap and off of the bed, walking a few steps away before turning back to face him. She tugs teasingly at the bottom of her camisole, "Why don't you let me make it up to you?"

Tim turns to face her, seated at the edge of the bed, "Consider me your captive audience."

She takes her sweet time sliding the cami up over her stomach, pausing just as the curves of her breasts are exposed, chewing on her bottom lip in feigned consideration, "Then again... you've already seen it before, right?"

Tim narrows his eyes, voice a low growl when he finally responds, "Lucy. You can take it off, or I can rip it off. It's entirely up to you, but those are the only options."

Her lips twitch, "No need to be so brutish, Bradford. Just wanted to make sure you were still interested. You haven't been particularly decisive as of late."

And though they are intended to be playful, the words hit home. She is absolutely right — he's been anything but decisive, and the few decisions he has made have not only been the wrong ones, but they've hurt her when that was the exact opposite of his intent. And he owes her more than that — less calculating and less anticipating worst-case scenarios and less trying and failing to live up to some ill-defined code and more rawness and more emotional honesty and more thoughtful care toward all of her — not just toward her career, but toward her heart as well.

She slips the top over her head and lets it dangle from her fingers before allowing it to drop to the floor, next moving to hook her thumbs into the waistband of her shorts and panties, flirtatiously wiggling her hips as she pushes the garments down over her thighs, letting gravity take them the rest of the way down.

Tim sucks in a deep breath, as she steps out of the shorts — one step closer to where he is seated. And though, yes, it is true that he's seen some of it before and that he has loved every single glimpse, it's his first time being able to fully take in and appreciate every single bit of her, and he takes his sweet time sweeping his eyes over her from head to toe, committing every perfect piece of her to memory.

"I love you."

Lucy freezes, eyes going wide, certain she hasn't heard him correctly, "Wh-what?"

"I love you," he repeats, voice soft in a way that is completely out of sync with the intensity of his gaze, his eyes locked on hers.

And somehow, even though it's his confession, she feels impossibly more naked, impossibly more vulnerable standing in front of him in this moment, "I — because I just got naked?" And though it's intended to be a joke, a weak attempt at giving him an opportunity to walk back his unexpected declaration — one that has the power to change everything between them more than any amount of kissing or touching or sex ever will, it doesn't sound like one leaving her lips.