Sand In My Boots - Morgan Wallen Story

Chapter 15

I let the hot water burn my skin as if that would erase the dirty feeling that inhabited my body. I knew he hadn't done it on purpose. I knew his intention had never been to hurt me or make me feel like one among many other women. And most importantly, I knew his heart was in the right place. But I still couldn't shake the feeling that maybe I wasn't cut out for this. Maybe dating someone so famous, someone with a reputation for being a womanizer, wasn't right for me. Maybe I was too insecure, too sensitive to be able to cope with the constant impression of being compared to the -probably- hundreds of women who had set foot here before me and of not measuring up. I looked down at my body, my eyes staring at the scar the c-section had left when I had given birth to Ellie. I was willing to bet good money that little miss red-lace-panties didn't have a single scar or roll of fat on her. This isn't healthy. I heard a knock on the bathroom door.

"What?" I asked.

"Can I come in?" I heard Morgan ask softly.

"No, I'm not dressed," I said, turning the water off and getting out of the shower. "Where are the towels?" I asked as the water dripped off my body and turned into a puddle all over the ceramic floor.

"In the cabinet on the left," he said calmly. I frantically searched through said cabinet without finding a single towel.

"They're not there," I said impatiently.

"They're supposed to be," Morgan said. "Can I please come in? I'll give you a towel and we can talk."

"No, I'm not dressed!" I repeated.

"I think we're past that point, Aubrey. Just let me get you a damn towel," he said, opening the door. I quickly sat on the floor, bringing my knees up to my chest and covering myself up the best I could, feeling my eyes well up with tears. He opened the cabinet on the right and unfolded a towel. He got on his knees to be at my level and placed the towel gently on my shoulders, squeezing them softly to rub the water off.

"You said the cabinet on the left," I mumbled.

"My left, your right. I'm sorry," he whispered. I looked down and he lifted my chin with two of his fingers, forcing me to look into his eyes. "What's going on?"

"I have scars."

"I mean, don't we all?"

"I mean physically, like on my body, from my c-section and-"

"And?"

"And rolls on my back."

"Okay? So?"

"And I don't wear red lacy underwear."

"Aubrey-"

"I'm not Hollywood pretty like your son's mom and-"

"Hollywood pretty?"

"You know, like the Kardashians and stuff," I mumbled. He chuckled and took my hands into his.

"I don't want you to be 'Hollywood pretty' and I sure as hell don't want you to look like my ex," he said softly. "How about when you start spiraling about other women I've been with, you take a second to realize that out of all these people, you're the one I chose to bring home to my mom?" he suggested. I smiled faintly. He was right. I had been so absorbed by my insecurities that I hadn't even tried seeing things from his perspective. Even his mom had said that he hadn't brought a girl home in a really long time. He had spent the last couple of years of his life being on the road and meeting women who wanted nothing more than to wake up next to him in the morning. He had options; a lot of options. And out of all these options he had picked me. He had made sacrifices for me. I had been so wrapped up in the idea that our relationship would ruin my friendship with Jared that I had failed to recognize that he had put his friendship with him in jeopardy too. He was one of his oldest friends and yet, unlike me, he never, not for a second, thought of putting that friendship ahead of our relationship. I had to find a way to stop focusing on the flaws and actually take the time to realize that the man who was sitting on the floor in front of me had done nothing but prove to me that he would choose me, every chance he got.

"You're right. It's not fair of me to constantly bring up your past. I have to stop letting my insecurities get in the way of things," I admitted.

"And please, stop comparing yourself to other women. The minute I laid eyes on you at that baseball game, I knew right away you'd change my life. You're beautiful, Aubrey. Way more than you think. And the scar on your stomach?" he said, moving the towel and grazing it softly with his thumb. "You got it by bringing an amazing little girl into this world. You should be proud of that scar."

"I'm sorry that I'm such a mess," I said, slowly getting off the floor. He chuckled.

"See, I knew you were gonna be trouble," he laughed. I rolled my eyes. "I love you," he said.

"You do..?" I asked, almost unsure that I had heard that correctly.

"Were you ever doubting that?" he asked.

"No, it's just- You've never told me before," I said timidly. He placed the wet strand of hair that was in my face behind my ear delicately and grazed my cheek softly with his thumb, looking deep into my eyes.

"If you let me, I will tell you every single day for the rest of my life," he whispered, placing a warm kiss on my forehead.

"I love you too," I whispered back.

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Okay, so, this is super short, and it's probably the most disgustingly lovey dovey thing I've ever written, but I'm a sucker for cheesy romance so I kind of just had fun with it! Hope you guys like it!

XO

LadyBug