It's the same as loving an object/Chapter 35

113 5 23
                                    

Kazuha looked at Scaramouche until he was out of sight. The person he loved no longer existed, there was a puppet in his body.
And Kazuha wondered what had become of the one Scaramouche that said sweet words, had a big smile, hugged people and even cared...
____________________

Kazuha followed Scaramouche running, wanting to know what exactly had happened.
"SCARA! PLEASE...P-...."
He was getting out of breathe.
"Please let me talk to you once more."

Scaramouche stopped to look at Kazuha for a brief moment. He couldn't believe that Kazuha wanted to try to fight back. He even felt a little amused.
"I don't have feelings. Don't you understand that it's pointless. What are you doing, human?"
He looked back at Kazuha with a serious expression. The machine was so efficient. He sounded so cold and harsh, even Kazuha could notice the change in his personality.
"I'm a robot now. It's my duty to work."
He kept walking away.

Kazuha looked at Scaramouche with an impressed and sad expression, he really wasn't expecting that.
"You're not like this...you have no light in your eyes."

Scaramouche stopped again to face Kazuha. He started talking without feeling anything of what he said, he was just a little bit amused at Kazuha's despair.
"I was just a puppet, I didn't have emotions, I just pretended to be like the humans. Now I'm a robot with only one function, working."
He was looking up at the sun with a bored expression. He couldn't feel the warmth of the sun, he was empty.
"I don't have a heart, I don't have feelings, I'm just like this. This is what I am now."

"Why...why..." Kazuha started crying.
"No...Scara, you're not empty at all."

"I am empty. I have no emotions, I'm different..."
He sounded indifferent, he was trying to convince Kazuha that he should give up on him. He wasn't able to love anyone, not even himself.
"All these hours that we have spent together... they can't be considered good memories."
He had changed, his words had no compassion or empathy. And the worst thing was that it felt natural for him to say these words, he felt empty.
"I... I can't even love you. I'm just a machine like this, I'm sorry."

Kazuha sighed as tears fell from his eyes. "You're not just a machine... You have feelings."

"I don't. I don't have feelings, I don't feel anything, the puppet is doing its job."
He sounded really cold. He was just a puppet with a job to do, he wasn't able to feel anything.
"You're wasting your time, human. Go talk to someone else, someone you could actually like, with feelings... Just leave me alone, I don't want to see you again."
He turned to walk back to his work. It hurt him to say these things, but he was unable to do anything else.

"No! SCARA!" Kazuha yelled with pain in his voice as he ran to Scara and grabbed his hand.
"I know you're not just a puppet, please, let me love you."

"Why do you even want to love me, I told you I can't feel anything. I'm not who you think I am."
He sounded cold, he didn't want to upset Kazuha but he also tried to convince him that loving him was pointless and that he should leave him alone.
"Leave me and go look for someone else who can feel the same."
He was able not to say anything sweet or kind. He sounded like a different person, one without emotions.

"I don't care if you can feel or not, I still love you, I'll always love you no matter what!" His eyes were full of tears.

Scaramouche let out a frustrated sigh. He didn't know what else to say to Kazuha. He felt so empty, he couldn't feel love either, just a little bit of sadness for hurting Kazuha.
Why wasn't he feeling more upset about what he was losing? Why weren't his eyes filling with tears or why wasn't he hugging Kazuha?
He couldn't understand and it frustrated him. He pulled away from Kazuha's grasp with more force than he realized. He looked straight at him.
"Stop..."
He wasn't going to say anything else.

I can't love [Kazuscara]Where stories live. Discover now