I can't love [Kazuscara]

My fourth betrayal/Chapter 62

Kazuha was having a hard time, he couldn't breathe. He stopped moving for a second so he could get his energy back, but, suddenly, Dottore threw a large blade at him, it hit him and pierced his chest, Kazuha felt in the ground.

Scaramouche was watching it, and he couldn't believe it, Kazuha wasn't standing up, he still had his eyes opened with the blade on his chest.
Scaramouche managed to get off the machine, still feeling pain, he rushed to Kazuha but it seemed like there was no salvation...
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"Nooooo! NO! NO! NO! NOOOO!"
He was not able to say anything else but he kept screaming while trying to reach Kazuha and trying to pull that damn blade from his chest.
He was crying, not able to think straight and he was trembling all over his body. That's how much pain and horror he was feeling at that moment. He wanted to be able to help Kazuha but he didn't know what to do and how to do it.
"Please... Please..."

Kazuha coughed blood, and he put his hands on Scara's face.
"Hey...thanks for making me happy. I love you."

He was shaking, he couldn't accept that this was happening, it wasn't fair, this wasn't supposed to happen, not now. He felt a lot of pain and rage and a lot of questions were going through his mind. He started crying even louder, he couldn't accept the end of his short and tragic love story with Kazuha. Why every person he loved had to die and leave him all the time?
"W...Why?!"
Scaramouche was feeling despair, sadness, rage. Why did all the people he loved have to leave him? It looked like an endless curse.
"No... No... I can't... Not like this... Not again..."
"This can't be happening..."
"Why do they always leave me?"
"Why they have to do this to me?"
He was crying so much.
"Why, Kazuha? You promised you wouldn't leave me, you promised you loved me."
He was very sad and his eyes were still looking at the blood on Kazuha's chest.
"I... I can't live without you..."

Dottore left the arena, he was laughing, he had completed his mission, Kazuha lost his life. Raiden also left, they didn't care about how Scaramouche felt, he was 'useless' after all. Childe was standing there, crying a little bit, even tough he wasn't close to Kazuha, he still knew Kazuha was a good person.

"Why is this happening to me? Why always this?"
Scara was crying with all his feelings exploding. He didn't care about Raiden and her actions for now, he was just feeling so lost and sad because of Kazuha's death. He was thinking about all the good moments he had with him, he had become so important to him and now he was gone... forever.
"Why?! Why is the world so unfair...? Why I never get any happy endings in life? Why... Why..."

Scaramouche was almost without of air, he couldn't keep this anymore. He never had the chance to say 'I love you' for Kazuha, even after their serious relationship. He felt so bad, he couldn't love, and he felt guilty for it.
"Kazuha, I'm so sorry... I couldn't save you and I never got to say those three words that I wanted to tell you for so long... Now I'm alone again... Just like always..."
He was feeling worse and worse as the tears kept falling from his eyes.
"No... Why this hurts so much... Kazuha... Why..."

Scaramouche was still crying. He hated Dottore, he hated Raiden, he hated them for everything they've done! They killed Kazuha without any pity, Scaramouche was ashamed to be called a 'fatui' now.
"Damn them all... Damn them all..."
He was not only grieving for Kazuha, he was feeling anger toward Raiden and Dottore too. They were both so selfish and cruel... All of this was so messed up for no good reason...
He was breathing heavily, and he looked at the body of Kazuha on the ground, his tears falling on Kazuha's bloody chest.
"Kazuha... I will always remember you... You were the love of my life... You were the most gentle and kind soul to have ever lived..."