Until Death - Red Dead Redemption II

Act VI: I'm Sorry For Leaving

Arthur was out on a ride. Hoping to clear his mind. He couldn't get the image of Jack out of his head. His eyes. The way he looked at him. Arthur wasn't queer. He was sure of it. But then why does he feel this way? The thought of Jack stirs an erection in his pants, how could he say he's not queer when he's getting a stiff one by the thought of a man?

He wondered what Jack felt like. He knew what had happened the night prior just judging by the stuff matted into his chest hair. And how he woke up with his pants down next to Jack who was in the same predicament.

At first, he felt sick. Thinking of what he's done. Then he felt a small glimpse of joy, however it was quickly washed away with a feeling of shame. But why? Why was it so shameful to sleep with a man? Arthur couldn't wrap his head around it. He'd grown up being told as such by multiple people. It was just wrong, nobody ever said why.

When he was young he'd steal jewelry and wear it, a string of pearls. Arthur liked how they twinkled in the sunlight, they were fun to look at. But Dutch wasn't so fond of the body decor, scolding Arthur about what's for girls and what's for boys.
"What in God's name have got around your neck kid?" Dutch asked, Arthur looking up to him, "Now Arthur I've told ya that pearls are for the girls." Dutch wrapped a hand around the necklace,
"But I like 'em," Arthur muttered, grabbing the necklace himself, Dutch wasn't a fan of this disobedience.
"Arthur you're gettin' older. Quit with all this girly stuff, why can't ya just go and shoot some guns with us?" Dutch paused momentarily,
"I like shootin' but I like pearls too." Arthur at this point was desperately holding the necklace onto himself. However, Dutch had a much stronger grip than the sixteen-year-old. With little effort, he tore the necklace off of him.
"Now I'm sorry Arthur but you need to grow up, try and talk to some girls, find somethin' else to do besides dress up."

Arthur looked down at the floor, the broken necklace. It made him mad, but Dutch was right. He needs to grow up... right?

He felt jumbled. Like a knotted mess of string that cannot be undone. Maybe it wasn't wrong he thought, how come he can kill someone without shame but when it comes to sleeping with a man that's supposedly wrong. The more he thought about it, he didn't feel all that uncomfortable with Jack. These desires didn't bother him, rather the words of damnation to queer folk do. They've been buried into his head.

But the world thought the same thing for black folks a little while back, right? Hell, some still do. But it seems like a good number of people realized it was wrong to judge someone based on their skin. But being queer ain't nothing like race. They're just treated similarly, or were. Maybe in a little bit being queer will be okay, or accepted like being black? It ain't hurt nobody?

"Unghhhh..." Arthur stopped his horse hearing an exhausted groan echo out from beside the road. Looking around he saw a person.
"You okay there partner?" Arthur asked, looking at the body. Waiting for them to move. However, they did not. Only lying down.

Arthur isn't one to care much about others. In fact, if he felt like it he might've robbed the stranger. But he isn't feeling particularly mean right about now, he's feeling guilty enough to help someone. Maybe it'll ease the feeling. Very few things cause a feeling of guilt in Arthur, but leaving a stranger to suffer for absolutely no reason bothered him just slightly. So despite his lack of knowledge of the person lying half dead, he hopped off his horse.
"Hey-" Arthur asked shaking the feller. They didn't even budge. At this point, he was slightly concerned they might be dying.

Arthur dug a hand underneath the body and flipped them over.
"Jack?" Arthur asked, immediately making out the boy's face. He had blood splattered all over his body. At first, Arthur thought he must be injured but he quickly realized it wasn't his blood. Against his best judgment, he lifted the boy over his shoulder, laying him in the back of his horse.
"C'mon," Arthur grunted hopping up into the horse, galloping towards a camp he had set up the night prior. Arthur liked to camp when he could. He liked being alone with his thoughts sometimes. And in all honestly there are too many people at Horseshoe.