Until Death - Red Dead Redemption II

Act XXV: Mourning Mornings

Jack sat on the roof, writing out a list of gang members and how they are. What happened to em. He made lists like this to cope. Writing out a death like a matter of fact made it feel easier. Like it was inevitable and just a matter of fate.

Hopefully it could take away some of the guilt. The guilt that he should've done more to save them all.

Dutch - Shot in the head by Arthur.
Hosea - Shot in the heart by Dutch.
Arthur - Alive.
Bill - Eyes gouged out by Marston.
John - Alive.
Javier - Shot in the neck by Tilly.
Charles - Neck snapped by Arthur.
Lenny - Shot in the head by Micah.
Sean - Alive but hurt.
Sadie - Shot in the chest by Javier.
Mary-Beth - Shot in the stomach by Micah.
Karen - Alive.
Tilly - Shot in the neck by Javier.
Ms. Grimshaw - Throat slit by Micah.
Pearson - Split him in half like a pig.
Abigail - Shot by Bill.
Kerian - Shot by one of Dutch's group.
Strauss - Head caved in by Arthur.
Micah - Shot him, stomped his head to mush.
Uncle - Stabbed him in the neck.
Reverend - Alive.
Little Jack - Shot. By Bill.
Ms. O'Shea - Shoved out a window by Ms. Grimshaw. Broke her neck.

Jack closed his journal. Staring at the moon as he took a drag from his cigarette. It's been three months  since the fight, but it hurt. It still hurt so much. Nobody had said much of anything since then. Only ones left being Jack, Arthur, Karen, Sean, and John. Not even poor little Jack.

All Jack could think of was poor Sadie. He'd never had friends. Let alone someone he could just hang around with for hours talking about nothing. He could do the same with Arthur but he needed someone to talk to about Arthur. And Sadie was that person.

John hadn't moved. He's been next to Abigail and little Jack's graves for the past couple of days. He even sleeps out there. He just sits and stares at the dirt. Poor Marston. Jack knew that pain so well. And he knew the only thing to do is let him grieve. No matter the way he does.

It was so cold. Everywhere feeling distant and painful. Nobody smiled. Nobody laughed. Twenty-Four people. Only five were left. Jack felt himself crying once more.

Arthur hadn't moved since the burial.

It'd been six months of getting to know and grow close to everyone at the camp. Jack started to feel so close to them all. It felt like loosing his family all over again, but multiplied. As if three people weren't enough nine had to die. Poor kid. Little Jack. How could Bill do something so evil. So utterly disgusting. Shoot a kid dead without thinking twice.

Holding a funeral was hard. Nobody could bring themselves to move anyone's bodies. It made everything feel so much more real, seeing a shell of what was once a person. Just a corpse without their soul.

But they had too. Three days after the fight. They all deserved a proper burial. Jack didn't know much about his culture. His tribal roots, but he did know a proper burial ritual. He doesn't believe in god. He believes in the earth. It is what gives everyone life. Not some man in the sky.

Upon consideration Arthur, Karen, Sean, John, and Jack decided on burial in the earth. Lining them up all by one as they were each placed in holes. John put Abigail in hers, placing their child in her arms. Hopefully whatever comes next after life, she and the kid are together.

"I'm sorry Hosea. I'm so sorry." Arthur mumbled, placing his surrogate father into his final resting place. Eight graves. Karen buried Tilly next to Mary-Beth, Ms. Grimshaw by them too. She was always like a mother to them all. Doing anything to help them.

Kerian and Lenny, and poor Sadie. All sat with the others. Jack didn't want to put her in the ground,
"I don't want her to be cold." Jack said, placing a blanket onto her body. Arthur nodding as he begun to bury them all. Shoveling dirt carefully until they were all finally at rest.

The markers above each grave being hand engraved by each of them.

Hosea Matthews - 1844-1899
"A man who was caring to those around him until the end."

Sadie Adler - 1869-1899
"Amazing Grace."

Lenny Summers - 1880-1899
"Died as he was, Brave."

Tilly Jackson - 1878-1899
"A sister until the end."

Mary-Beth Gaskill - 1876-1899
"An outlaw, and a sister."

Abigail Roberts and Jack Roberts - 1877-1899, 1895-1899.
"May they rest in peace."

Susan Grimshaw - 1849-1899
"Our mother. Or guardian."

Kerian Duffy - 1870-1899
"A good man who stuck by us until the end."

It was a long day. A cold and rainy day. A grief stricken day. Since the burial, the past few months have been lonely. Arthur hadn't really gotten out of bed since then. He's just been laying down and staring at nothing.

John sat by Abigail and Jacks grave. Not saying a single word. Karen and Sean seemed to be getting through this the easiest. They're not anywhere near chipper but they aren't as completely dead in the pits of their souls like the others.

Jack found himself a spot by a tree, sat in the tall grass providing almost a shield of privacy.

I don't know what to do. Arthur won't eat. He won't even get out of bed since the burials. I'm worried. He's never been like this before, just completely dead. I want to help him. I need to help him, I won't leave him like this.

It hurts me too. Not as much as it hurt him but god it pains my soul thinking of the girls. Sadie especially, I told her everything. Can't believe she's gone. Dead. Tilly, Mary-Beth, all of them. And poor Jack. That poor kid. He didn't deserve that. He didn't choose this life, Bill that bastard. That piece of human scum that deserved every minute of pain he felt. Shot a kid dead without thinking twice like a heartless disturbed dictator.

I'm scared Arthur might do something bad. He's been holding his pistol in bed. He wont even hold me like he usually does, he just stares at the wall with his back to me. We haven't had sex in three months, and if I'm honest I don't feel like it either. It just feels so wrong to do something so pleasant while the others lay dead in the dirt.

I just need to get him to eat. Get him outside, even if it's just for a moment. I have to.

Jack closed his journal. Carefully wandering back into the house, opening the door to their room to see Arthur as expected. Back to the door almost dead, barely breathing as he just stared at the wall.

"Arthur?" Jack asked, sitting down on the cold bed next to him. Arthur didn't reply, just shook his head a little to show he's listening. "Could you come with me for a moment?" Jack asked placing a hand on his partners side,
"I'm fine." Arthur mumbled, not moving even slightly.
"No your not. You've been here for months." Arthur stirred, looking up to Jack with a scowl.
"Leave. Now." He demanded.
"Arthur I can't do this. I can't watch you waste away like this." Jack cried, looking solemnly to the floor.
"Then go." Arthur said, his voice shaky.
"What?" Jack asked,
"Leave. Wouldn't wanna make you suffer." Arthur growled,
"So that's it? You're giving up...on us?"
"Guess so."
"Why..?" Jack cried,
"None of this would have happened. I never should've brought you into camp that day. All it did was get my family killed. And all you can think about is yerself." Arthur scolded, Jack didn't say anything. He didn't know what to say in the slightest.

Jack sniffled, in a defeat, walking away.
"Then I guess this is goodbye." Jack mumbled as he stood in the door frame.
"Bye." Arthur said coldly,
"Bye Arthur." Jack mumbled. Hyperventilating harsh and quick breaths as he begun to sob uncontrollably. Leaving out the front door. He didn't have a thing on him, but he didn't even notice in the moment. Only walking away as he cried uncontrollably, all of it had seemingly come to an end. Just like that.

It was the type of tears that made it hard to breathe, the type of crying that hurt. Just pain as your body cries without any self input. He didn't want to cry, made him feel pathetic but he couldn't help it no matter how many times he wiped his eyes.

"Jack? Where you going?" Karen asked, looking at the mess of a man leaving camp. Jack didn't say a word, disappearing from view.

Arthur hadn't even realized what had really happened until that night. Where he felt the cold breeze from the broken windows on his back. Where Jack would usually be. He... was gone. Really gone.