Until Death - Red Dead Redemption II

Act X: I Want Seconds

Last night was some of the most fun I've had in years. Arthur brought me to a parlor that we learned was called the "Red Heart". Weird name but a great time. We met up with another couple named Shawn and Thom, first time I've ever had sex with someone besides Arthur. Well by choice anyway. Shawn was great, even better were the looks I got from Arthur. Made me wild, if a bit jealous of Thom. But as long as Arthur feels good I'll be fine. But I'm not entirely sure he feels good.

He went to the restroom, I waited for him outside and I heard him talking to himself in the mirror. Or just out loud. He didn't know I was outside the door. He didn't say anything good. He called himself old. A bastard. Miserable. It hurt to hear. I don't know how someone so strong could be so insecure, it's like he despised himself. But when he said "You miserable old bastard, no wonder they all leave you." It made me feel the worst.

I won't leave him. No matter what he does, I don't want to become another reason for him to hate himself. I wish he realized just how much I cared for him. How much others do as well. I watched him suck the snake venom out of a strangers leg for Christ sake, that's something a saint wouldn't even do.

After the parlor, he brought me to his camp again. It's quaint. I like it here but I don't think the other members of his gang are all too keen on me. Dutch specifically has been giving me vile looks, seems to be gossiping about me as well which I find pathetic. If you're gonna run your mouth about me, let me hear it.

I didn't sleep much last night, I'm getting paranoid that I'm gonna be killed in my sleep or something other. The tension is severe, I can barely breathe when within this damn place.

Can't tell Arthur. After all these people are his folk, and he loves them. It's not my place to say or tell Arthur such nonsense. They're outlaws, of course they're gonna be a bit cold. Just wish they were more of a rainy day and less of a blizzard.

I closed my journal, making sure to place it back in my satchel. It gets covered in herbs that I have stuffed in there but forget it. I woke up first, the sun just rose above the horizon. Arthur looks so strangely peaceful when he sleeps, I reckon he's similar to a baby in that regard. He sleeps on his side, his arms holding himself which is strange. But charming.

Passing through the curtains I was greeted with the familiar sight of the overlook. However, it was weird having it be so dead, nobody up and moving. At least nobody I could see. Looking around I felt at peace for once, not a single thing in the world is hurting me right now... physically that is.

"Mornin." The painfully familiar voice of Arthur whispered into my ear. He does that a lot. He likes to sneak up to me and whisper in my ear, I hate it. Scares the piss outta me every time he does.
"Christ!" I screamed, Arthur looking pleased with himself, "Stop doin' that!" I begged.
"Well, where's the fun in that?" He smiled, immediately pulling me in for a kiss. His beard tickled, I liked it short, and thankfully so did Arthur.

My father had a long beard, and it reminds me of him when a man has one. And for obvious reasons, I'm not attracted to that in the slightest. Arthur was a good kisser. He knew how to kiss hard but not to the point you can't breathe. I'd only ever kissed one other man in my life and at that time it felt like someone was tryna drown me.

"Should we really be doin' this here?" I asked,
"Probably not. But I've got an idea." Arthur exclaimed before all but ripping me out of the camp. A firm grip on my wrist he had. However, it's quite unnecessary because I'd follow him without it. He brought me into the woods surrounding the overlook, the sounds of the twigs and such calling out our exact position. We wandered quite far before he stopped, with a devilish grin he showed me a plant that looked like a bush. Leafs touching the ground.