Until Death - Red Dead Redemption II

Act XXVI: I'll Miss You

"Arthur!" Karen shouted, bursting through the door to his room as he sat silently.
"What." He asked coldly. Not really anything he could think of that's positive.
"It's Jack. He gave me this letter. I'm worried it's something bad. He looked so sad." Karen rambled, handing Arthur the folded piece of paper.

Arthur didn't want to open it, but what could possibly make things any worse.

Arthur.

I know you probably don't want to speak to me, but this is the last time. I can promise you that you won't hear or see me again. Just please read this.

I'm sorry for what I caused. I never wanted to hurt you. Or anyone for that matter, and I'm sorry for letting you down. I told you I'd never end it. I told you I'd always hold on but I can't. I understand why you regret meeting me, I'd regret meeting me too.

But I don't regret meeting you. Saving you. You're a good man Arthur Morgan, and I'm sorry for making you suffer so much by my hand.

Sincerely, Jack.

Arthur started to shake, tremble a bit not really knowing what to do as his body panicked.
"Arthur what? What is it?" Karen asked, attempting to hold Arthur still.
"He's... he's gonna kill himself." Arthur stuttered out. Karen's eyes growing wide.
"He gave me this about twenty minutes ago. He said he was going home?" Karen shook Arthur, hard enough that it hurt
"Home... His old family cabin near Blackwater. I.. I've gotta go." Arthur suddenly realized. Shooting out of bed fast enough to feel lightheaded.
"That's about twenty minutes from where I saw him. We might be able to stop him." Karen shouted as her and Arthur descended the stairs.

They rushed to their horses, Arthur nearly throwing himself onto his stallion.
"Wait. I need to do this alone." Arthur said, putting a hand up to Karen who stood.
"But..." Karen said, the look in Arthur's eyes pleading her, "Alright but hurry up! Go!" She shouted Arthur taking off.

He could barley think. Just riding as fast as he could to the cabin, he didn't want to loose Jack. Even though he already had, he wouldn't just let him die. Alone and broken.

...

Jack had just reached his family cabin. Walking inside for the first time since the night they died. He'd always been too scared to go inside but this is it. He doesn't have anything to loose from this.

Stumbling inside it was how he'd remembered it, broken and dusty. Jack looked around, running his hands across dusty dishes and counters. Feeling the years of buildup caused by nature.

He wandered into his old room. His and Denise's room. Split in half by a crude line of paint on the floor boards that she insisted on laying down. Jack sat down on her old bed, a puff of dust rising as he felt the blanket. Her stuffed animals all around her pillow, she'd always sleep on them like pillows. No matter how uncomfortable it must have been.

He looked at their photos. Mama. Pa. Everyone. Them together. That vase of flowers that his ma had picked and pruned the day before the attack. They had all died, crumbling to pieces of dried leaves and petals as he touched them. The water having been dried up from inside the vase leaving only a dirty ring around the inside of the container.

All these things that hinted towards a family. All these things that reminded him of his family. Jack smiled, feeling like he was home again. No matter that they weren't here. He could feel them, for just this moment. They were here, or at least he could pretend they were. Perhaps he can just pretend they were out running to grab something from the store.

Jack took a rope, slinging it over a roof beam. Anchoring it to the furnace that was bolted to the cold floor. He carefully tied the knot. That fateful knot that only meant one thing. He sobbed, thinking about Arthur. Sadie. Denise. Mama. All of them, how much joy they gave him even if it had all ended. Without them he's nothing in this world but a terror.

With that in his mind he stepped up onto the chair he'd pulled from the dining table. Slipping the rope around his neck, it felt so cold in here. So lonely, he'd always knew he'd die alone. It's all but his fate. To die without anyone there. It was foolish of him to think anything different.

As he begun to think about his life he realized. He had no impact on the world. Nothing he'd done that would let others remember him. He stood there realizing how his life meant so little, he had fulfilled nothing. There was nothing but pain he caused. He's leaving unfulfilled, and alone. Just as he thought he deserved.

Maybe he should have done this sooner he thought, the earth wasn't somewhere he did anything good. But maybe once he's gone. Things will get better. If he hadn't shown up to camp... none of that would have happened. The gang would still be alive and well, Arthur didn't deserve such pain.

With a shaky foot Jack kicked the chair out from under himself, feeling the rope tighten around his neck as he was hung from the ceiling. His body writhed around in panic, but as the lights started to fade out his body was calmed, hanging still as he waited patiently for the release of the death he craved.

However as he waited he was cut down, hitting the floor hard enough to knock him out. Jack thought that was it, he had died. But he hadn't.

Arthur picked him up in a panic, carrying him outside as he laid him on the ground.
"Jack. Jack. Wake up." Arthur begged, shaking him wildly. Before he started to blow into his mouth. Hoping his lungs could maybe make his inflate once more. He needed air, badly and that was all Arthur could think to do as he waited patiently for something. The boy was still breathing. Just barely. Weak lungs just barely clinging on.

"A-Arthur..?" Jack mumbled, his eyes fluttering opening. Arthur's eye grew wide as he pulled Jack into a firm hug, holding him close to his chest as he buried his face into Jacks neck. Smelling him. Seeing him. Feeling him. The warmth he exuded enough to make Arthur smile for the first time in months. "What... how... you came. You actually came." Jack stuttered, just barley catching his breath as Arthur held him tightly.
"Don't ever do that again. Never." Arthur mumbled,
"I'm sorry. I didn't want to hurt you." Jack said. Realizing now he'd given Arthur a heart attack upon that note being read.

The two sat there for a moment, just embraced as they heard each others breathing. Feeling their bodies for the first time in a long while. A feeling Jack was expecting to never feel again.

"No. I shouldn't have let ya leave. I ain't want you too. I'm so sorry. I love you too." Arthur said, Jack moving around until he could plant a kiss he'd been wanting for a long time with Arthur. Then interlocking their mouths as they savored the moment.

Jack felt terrible. Not just physically, but the more he thought about it. He's essentially threatening suicide to Arthur if he leaves him. He wishes that wasn't true, it's not a threat. He doesn't want to make Arthur feel stuck but if he leaves he would end it. He's the last thing he has in this world.