Until Death - Red Dead Redemption II

Act XVIII: Tell Me It's Not True

I was second to get up, Arthur had already made his way out of the bed. Somehow without waking me despite the fact I don't sleep deeply. We haven't been doing all of much for the past week or so, just been lounging around at this half-baked camp.

As I got out of the tent I let my eyes wander, brushing past the morning sky and the foliage. I wasn't really even trying to find Arthur but nonetheless I saw his shoulder sat out from behind a tree. He's either a bad hider or he's not hiding.

Walking towards him I decided to be as quiet as possible, hoping to frighten the man. He'd done it enough for me to do it in return, however I'd use my cover to take a bit of a peak at whatever drawing he's sketching out. First thing I saw on the paper was a hand, scattered lines littering the illustration. It almost looked like Arthur had made a mistake in his penmanship but no, those lines were my own.

He's drawing me, or someone who looks the exact same as me. All of the detailing and framework was done everywhere except the head. Of which was entirely blank, devoid of features. The drawing was posed specifically, it was me looking back. So you could see my ass but also my head and upper torso. Reminded me of some sort of painting you'd see in Saint Denise.

"Why ain't you draw my face?"
"Jesus boy, scared the hell outta me." Arthur yelped, "I ain't got to it yet." He was embarrassed I could tell. He'd never shown me his drawings, and he must be a bit self conscious about them for some reason. The more I learn about Arthur, the more I realize just how much he hates himself.

I don't know how to show Arthur he's not what he thinks he is. I don't know how to make him see what I see, he's not perfect, nobody is. He's done some bad things, but he's not a bad person. He just has a short temper, and a crippling loyalty to those who don't deserve it.

He closed his journal however he didn't account for the visibility to the pages. I caught a brief glimpse of a drawing, a man beaten and bloody.
"What was that?" I asked,
"Nothin'. Mind yer business." Arthur demanded, that drawing. It looked familiar. There was a number next to it as well, some sort of amount. I think it said $35.34.

Wait. Arthur couldn't be a debt collector, he just couldn't.
"Arthur was you a debt collector..?" I asked,
"Drop it." The man barked.
"Tell me Morgan."
"What in the hell do you want from me Jack?! You act all high and mighty when you've killed enough folks to fill the goddamn ocean!"
"So it's true." I replied.

Oh my god. He could have been part of that camp, its just right by where he is. He could have done the same thing that happened to me to others. I gave him my heart, I fell for him. But he's no different from the men who took my family from me. He's just another outlaw.

"I'm tired of this little drama you've got goin' on boy, I did what I had to to survive." Arthur shouted, I could barely breathe. My chest rising and falling rapidly. "Jack I-" I swatted his hand away,
"Get yer hands the off a' me." I growled. I can't see him right now, I don't even want to look at him. My body feels weak, I feel the pains that came with my family dying.

Arthur said something, I didn't even hear it. I just walked away. Wasn't walking anywhere known even, I just found the road and followed it to wherever it took me.

I let Arthur see the most vulnerable parts of me. I let him touch me in places I've never let anyone else touch. I gave him all I had. He was never telling me the truth was he? I thought he was something other than an outlaw but he's not. He's just a taker, he'll never give to anyone.

My hands felt cold, I could feel my blood starting to pump as I looked down at my holstered knife. I'm hurt. I'm angry. I can't help it, nobody deserves what I'm about to do but I don't have a choice. I can't shake this feeling of rage.