Hunger

CHAPTER 9

DAY 9

It's getting hard to breathe. I went from lockdown in one house to lockdown in another. I can't remember the feeling of rain on my skin anymore or how the sun felt warming my face.

I'm miserable.

I found the picture of my dad and mom's after party picture I had stuck in my pocket and I'm pretty sure I'm worse than that. It's like I'm wondering aimlessly in endless blackness.

I'm so thirsty too. I haven't had something to eat since that apple.

Writing in this empty notebook I found is the only thing barely keeping me sane. I try my hardest to keep it together in front of my mom, because I know how much seeing me hurting is hurting her. Dad is hardly here. I heard him say he needed to talk to Grandpa, because of what he was reading in his thoughts. But when Dad is here, he's talking in hushed whispers to Mom.

I have to see Jacob.

I can't take it anymore.

Renesmee

"Do you mind if we go hunting today Mom?" I asked.

She looked up from her book and frowned. "Um...we should wait until your father gets back."

"When will that be?"

"I'm not sure. Soon, though. He's just trying to...uh...explain our reasoning to the rest of the Cullen's."

She looked back down at her book awkwardly and I knew she didn't want to pursue and argument about her decision. "Can I at least go outside?"

She looked up again and made a face. "I don't think-"

"I'll stay close to the house. You can watch me from the window if you don't believe me."

"I believe you. It's just-"

"Please?" I pleaded, letting the pain become more visible on my face. "Please?"

"Fine." She sighed. "Five minutes."

I flitted out the door and breathed in the cool, moist air. I could hear the rain on the treetops above me, but they were pooling on the leaves opposed to falling.

The wind blew and carried an old scent a couple days old.

Aunt Rosalie.

I followed it, making sure I was in Mom's seeing range and stopped at an old hollow tree. Tucked at the very bottom of the trunk in the bark was a folded white piece of paper. I hovered over it, so Mom couldn't see what I was doing, and sniffed it.

JACOB! My heart screamed, recognizing the familiar faint scent mixed in with Rosalie's.

My fingers unfolded it in less than a second and I read it slowly, savoring every word.

I can't stand being away from you. I miss you too much. Bella's being ridiculous, but they're pretty serious about your decision. Edward's been over at the Cullen house every day, telling us how discouraged he was at the "experiment". Even though he's pissed, I knew he wouldn't just leave his family high and dry without another word.

They've got your house on maximum security, so I'll be surprised if you get to even read this. Thanks to Blondie who came home early from her tenth honeymoon in Cancun with Muscles, she agreed to help us out. I'll write again in three days at the same spot. I want you to know I love you and miss you like crazy.

My life is meaningless without you in it.

Jacob

I kissed the letter and held it to my heart, imagining Jacob saying it.

He was going to write tomorrow, and I needed to devise a plan.