learning to fall. ➳ horan. [short story]

Chapter Eight.

*Niall's POV*

 I sat at the bar, drinking another drink. This may have been my sixth? I'm not sure. I ditched the lads, they wanted to do something, and I told them I would meet them, but I couldn't. I was drowning in self-pity, commonly known as alcohol. I was trying to get her off my mind. But I just couldn't get drunk enough. No amount of alcohol I consumed could get her to vanish from my thoughts. She consumed every corner and crevice of my mind. Her face was the only thing I saw when I closed my eyes and nothing I did would stop it. Her scent was the only thing my nostrils could sense, my lips still tasted her, my ears still heard her giggle, I still felt her warmth.

Oh. My. God. I need another drink. This is ridiculous. I need to hate her. She left you Niall. Left you all alone and cold under the brightness of the streetlight. It wasn't enough that I knew I was an idiot, the streetlight was basically my spot light, with all neon lights pointing towards me. I stood there, under my spotlight, for god knows how much longer, stuck in some sort of trance... And the kicker? She wasn't even there. How the bloody hell does someone do that? Like seriously.

You wanna know why I can't hate her? Because I can still feel the electricity shooting through every nerve fiber that I had, sparks still dancing on my lips from our kiss. Still. A good twenty-four hours later and I still have that? How is this possible? The guys, I'm sure, will say that I am... Head over heels? Is that an expression people use? Heels over head maybe?

But yeah, all because of this one girl. It's fucking creepy how with love, you actually know who the one is. No girl has even come remotely this close to making me feel like this. I feel like I'm not even the same person. Can love change a man? I guess it can. If that's the case, it's changed me. I feel like my life's goal is to make Jean happy. To make sure that a smile is always upon that beautiful face of hers, that her laugh is always pure and genuine. That no one can even dare take that from her, or they will have to deal with me. I'm tougher than I look.

I was snapped back into reality by a hand being waved obnoxiously in my face. I scrunched my face up and pulled back. "Yo, mate you okay? I think you may need to cut it off." He said, sounding a bit concerned. I turned to look at him. His hair, was styled short, like Liam's, but the front was gelled up and the ends pointed down slightly. He had a chisled face, pretty boy. I could see through his white v-neck that he was very muscluar. Tool.

"Nah, I was just lost in thought. Trying to get someone off my mind, but it's not really working. I think I may need stronger stuff." I laughed at the end, earning a chuckle from him too. "What did she do?" He inquired. Normally, I wouldn't tell a stranger my problems, but I know my mind is being drowned in alcohol right now. "Ah, nothing too heart wrenching. She just kissed me and left. Gone. I know she's still in the city, but she's been ignoring me and such." I started talking and I think I just kind of babbled on.

"Ah, just give her some space bro. She'll come around. There's just something clouding her judgement. Everything will be fine. But you should think about cutting off on the drinks tonight." He said, raising an eyebrow and looking at my now empty glass. When did I finish this? I shrugged. "Thanks mate. I'm going to go dance then. Thanks for the advice." I slurred, stumbling out of my stool and heading to the dance floor.

*****

I was getting tired of dancing on random girls that I didn't know. They were nothing compared to Jean. She was perfect for me, but doesn't think she is. She thought she was 'damaged goods' and wasn't good enough for me, but she's more than I could ever want. God, do I need to make her mine, or I swear I'm going to lose my sanity.

I started walking back towards the bar, only to stop short by that all too familiar sound that has become music to my ears. Jean's giggle. She's here?! I quickly scanned the area. I found her, with Danielle, Perrie, and Juliet near by. Their idea? More than likely. In the short time that I've known Jean, I know she doesn't go out on her own.

Then I remembered, she giggled. What caused her to giggle? Oh that's right, it would be the guy that told me to lay off the drinks. He was casually leaning against the bar, with his ankles crossed and his arms being used as support as his hands wrapped around the edge of the bar. Jean was standing close to him, but not too close, which I was grateful for. But then he said something which caused her to laugh and put her hand on his bicep.

And with that, all I saw was red. She leaves me, after we shared a kiss, for some random guy? You've got to be kidding me. Females really are fucking stupid with love, aren't they? Instead of going for a guy they know they love, they'll just go after someone who's nice and decent. Just my fucking luck. Ha, see what I did there? I'm Irish. Luck. No? Okay. 

I can't just sit here, and watch this happen. No, fuck that shit. I'm going to take action for my girl. She's mine. No one elses. So what do I do? You think I throw a punch at him, don't you? Ha, no. He didn't know. Can't be mad at him. I love how I think straight when I'm drunk. Good job Ni.

No, I walk up to them and see the random guy give me a quizzical look. l smile polietly, then I take Jean by the arm and drag her to a corner, away from where everyone was, a little quieter, away from the thumping, and overly obnoxious, music that I tried to tune out.

"What the hell Niall?" She hissed and glared at me. "What do you mean, 'What the hell?' You and I share that kiss and you just leave me for some random ass guy you don't know?" I say, looking straight into her eyes. I'm not backing down and I hope this doesn't backfire on me.

"I didn't leave you for him. I just came to get away from life, for one night. Last time I checked it wasn't a bad thing. To try to escape hell for one fucking night." She yelled at me. "What hell Jean? You've been spending the past few days with me. Am I hell?! Tell me now because I'll leave." I say, getting angrier. She thinks I'm hell. "No, Niall. It's not you." She yelled, but started calming down. "You're not hell. But the memories that come back when I'm with you are. And I know it's not your fault and don't feel guilty, but I just need to get things sorted." She inhaled after, as if trying to calm herself down.

"Don't get things sorted out alone, let me help. I know we all have skeletons in our closet, most of them aren't that good, but you're not alone. I want to help you. Please." I said, calmly, begging at the end. With this she just sighed and looked at the wood floor that was scuffed from various shoes. It's now or never Ni, do what you gotta do.

"What if I tell you that you're not alone. Cause I got three little words that I've always been dying to tell you." I took in a shaky breath. With those words, her head shot up, her eyes big, filled with emotions I could not name.

Breathe and speak. "I love you, Jean. And I know you're going to think it's crazy. But I think it's that whole love at first sight shit that people talk about. I'm not sure, but I just know that I can't get you out of my mind. It's in your lips, and in your kiss. It's in your touch and your fingertips. And it's in all the things and other things that make you who you are and your eyes, irresistible." I said all of this, looking directly into her eyes and I swear I could see something good in there. I can hope at least, right?