Always By Your Side

Teenage years

charles and i were in the garage in japan watching my brothers race we had the weekend off from F3 so we came to watch my brother we had stayed with him the whole day and we were now saying goodbye before he left for the race

"drive safe for me jules i love you" i said to him giving him a long hug

"i love you too coccinelle" he said kissing the top of my head and hugging me

he then put his helmet on and left to his car

"why has he always called you coccinelle" charles asked

"when i was 2 we were at the park and i had just started talking and i saw a small ladybird on a leaf and i started screaming coccinelle ever since he has only called me that apart from when he is mas then he just screams celine" i said

"that way cuter than lorenzo calling me conard" he said giving lorenzo a death stare

"what you are one what else should i call you idiot" lorenzo scoffed

the rain was really bad today the FIA even talked about cancelling today's race but it went ahead there was a small crash due to the weather and one of those tractors was sent to pick up the debris we heard jules' engineer talking to him about it and to be careful but his car started spinning and he hit it he hit it hards i fell to the ground crying and charles held me tight i felt nicholas jules' manager pull me and i couldn't hear much from the shock but he said he was bringing us to the hospital with him charles and i sat in the waiting room for hours waiting for updates and we both were crying and crying it felt like we would never stop a doctor called us into the room and i saw him connected to all these machines and ran up to him i put my head on his chest and even though he was in a coma and on a ventilator i knew he was hearing me

"jules please osuh through for dad he can't see you so soon please jules i need you maman needs you charles needs you please jules come back i need to say goodbye jules" i cried i felt lorenzo hug me and i broke down in his arms my mother was in the room but she didn't come to me once.

jules had been transferred to a hospital in monaco after charles and i argued with the doctors my mom didn't care and she never spoke to me i decided i would take time off from racing to stay with jules in the hospital pascale would drag me home to take care of myself every once in a while but i always went back i wanted to hear him say coccinelle one last time I wanted to fight with him on the last cookie one last time I wanted him to wipe my tears when a boy broke my heart I wanted him to hug me to pull my hair to tell me to drive safe and not drink too much I wanted my big brother back.

it was nine months later i was in the room with charles there with me we were catching up on his latest race and the doctors were doing check ups on jules who was still in a coma when we heard rushing and monitors beeping we turned around frantically and doctors told us to stay away but when i hear his heart slow down i pushed through them and layed my jules in his final moments his heart rate slowed and came to a stop and i just layed next to him sobbing into his chest charles was rubbing my back as he also cried and doctors gave up trying to pull us away.

It was his funeral i was going to give a speech along with charles, lorenzo and arthur my mother was still silent she hadn't spoken to me since his crash i always spoke to her but she remained silent and never looked at me in the eyes just looked down and showed no emotion i went up to the microphone and started my speech

"Jules was my best friend my brother my rock and i was his lady bird, there was never a moment were he wasnt by my side my first broken bone, my first karting win, the day Charles and I got into f3, my first breakup, my first and last fight with Charles,my first hangover and of course he was the one that got me drunk along with lorenzo and charles, jules was the perfect brother the best role model too he set the standards so high for everyone in many ways i like to think jules was my first love. You were there for me and I wish I was there for you more one day I will continue on your legacy and so will Charles I will make it to F1 Jules for
You we are all doing it for
You. I wish you didn't have to join daddy so soon but he missed his son and he wanted to see you so Jules every time i see a lady bird i will think of you, everytime i see the number 17 i will think of you, everytime i see soft stars shining at night i will think of you, everytime i see a sunset i will think of you, everytime i see an older brother taking care of his sister i will think of you jules i will never stop thinking of you i love you always and for ever your coccinelle" i ran off into lorenzos arms

i took about a year and a half away from racing in that time charles progressed into F2. when i went back it took a while to get used to the hectic life but in 2017 i won the F3 championship and got promoted to F2 charles joined F1 in 2018 and i still fought for my titles in F2 from the day i got back my racing number was always 17 and i knew it was now not available to anyone in F1 anymore but i knew when i got my spot in F1 i would make sure it got the number i wanted.