Always By Your Side

7 years

7 years without him it's feels like too long and the fact he won't ever come back makes it feel worse. Pierre and Charles came over last night and drowned me in alcohol to try and numb the pain but it never works they drank their Hearts away too we all lost him and we are the only ones who understand what it truly means. I woke up with my head pounding and Charles are the foot of the bed laying down and Pierre next to me still sleeping. I take a sip of water from my glass I had left last night it was also next to two bottles of vodka I slowly get up leaving Charles and Pierre to sleep and go get pain meds and start to make breakfast. I make some eggs and toast as I was cleaning up I hear the two boys come into the kitchen

"Morning" Charles says as he stretches out and sits at the breakfast bar next to Pierre

"Morning I made food eat something before taking the pain medications" I say as I hand them both plates

"Thank you mom" Pierre says jokingly

"What are we doing today" I ask

"Staying home obviously" Charles says and I nod

"I'll be right back I need the bathroom" I say

I walk to my room and open my closet and pull out his Grey hoodie, he wore this on the morning of his crash it was cold in Japan and he wore it on the way to the track and before the race I was getting cold so he put it on me before going out to the track, I put it on and spray his cologne on it, I wipe the few tears I shed off my eyes and go back to the kitchen Pierre and Charles stare at me as I walk in noticing the hoodie I was wearing even though it was mid July I was still going to wear it.

"Can we watch a movie or something" I say as I put the plates in the dishwasher and clean up

"Whatever you want lynn" Pierre says

I nod and sit in the couch

"What movie" Charles asks

"Anything" I say as I pull the hood up and lay down on the couch with my head in Charles' lap and my legs on Pierre's lap

Pierre suggested Forrest grump one of our childhood movies we would watch a lot and I simply nodded. I think he chose a half sad movie so I could cry without explaining anything and blame it on the movie not that I was ashamed of crying over my dead brother but it was still better to not just plainly cry in silence.

As predicted the movie went on and I sobbed moving from a laying down position to a sitting one at the start of the movie my head resting on Pierre's shoulder as him and Charles held me I felt their tears drop onto me as well the movie ended and I took a big sigh of relief

"Sad movie huh" Pierre says and I laugh through the tears

"So sad" I say laughing still

"I have an idea" Charles said

"What now Charlie" I say jokingly

"Just follow me" he says

Pierre and I get up from the couch and follow him he goes towards my piano room... well I don't know how to play the piano but I thought it was a cute idea since I had a spare bedroom it's just a room with a piano and a couch nothing special Charles uses it a lot when he's over and so does Arthur they know how to play the piano I never really got into it Arthur has tried teaching me a few times but I just give up you would think my hand eye coordination is amazing because of my job and it is I just can't get my head around remembering all the keys and stuff it's complicated stuff.

"Sit I'll play something or dance I don't care just don't cry" Charles says as he give me a hug and kisses my head before sitting at the piano

"Care to dance Madame " Pierre says holding his hand out and I laugh