game over | doil

chapter 8

step eight: ordinary confessions

A soft sniff just beside his nose before the younger business management student pulled away from him. Taeil's head was still clouded by the kiss he just had, his first kiss with his first love, Dong Sicheng. The younger student chuckled happily as he pulled Taeil into a hug.

"I love you so much!"

Up until this day, Taeil can say no other kisses can be compared to the kiss he had with Sicheng or Winwin – it's a name that Taeil come up with and Sicheng had been using it as if it's his real name. Even his current boyfriend called him using the name.

They were clumsy, Sicheng was confident but his hands tremble when he cups Taeil's cheek. His head position was awkward, the way his body move while trying to lead the kiss, the way his tongue aimlessly move inside Taeil and the excessive saliva dripping. It was terrible, cute, funny, and just felt so free. No one is judging the terrible first kiss.

Taeil enjoyed every part of it. The way Sicheng pushed him to the edge, making his body heat up asking for more. There was a time they were rutting against each other, moaning so low, sweaty, and needy. Sicheng never do more than a kiss even if their body was begging for more – it's just small things like that make Taeil fall for the younger deeper.

Sicheng was protecting him from sinful pleasure. The way that Sicheng can hold his lust just proves that he holds Taeil in the highest place and he wouldn't touch Taeil without being rightfully wedded to the man.

His relationship with Taeil wasn't led by lust, but love. That's what Taeil believes.

Taeil can still feel his body heating up in anticipation whenever he thinks of the kiss. He never can kiss anyone like how he kissed Sicheng. Not even with Johnny, who he had a relationship with for two years. During that two years, he was seeing Sicheng whenever Johnny hold him close. He is guilty of that and he will never forgive himself for the thing he did to Johnny.

Now, Taeil tried to rethink how warm and secure Sicheng hold on him because the way Doyoung hold him was burning on his cheek. Every part of his body was burning, his lips felt like poison. His eyes felt like it was dripping blood.

The worst part, Taeil yearns for more.

Not even Sicheng made him feel this way and Taeil was scared. He was terrified of what had he gotten himself into – if ended up Doyoung was a bad guy just like Sicheng. Taeil doubts he can ever recover from it.

Donghyuck's words about Doyoung being a playboy kept on repeating inside his head. Even the voice in his head was laughing at him. This is bad. The tiny man can't even handle the love he had for Doyoung, it was too much for him to handle alone and he fear his own feeling.

How did he get himself into this?

With his trembling hands, he called the first person on top of his head, "Winwin.."

The man from the other side rose from his seat once the trembling voice hit his ear, "Ilie, are you okay?" He asked in a rush, he knows the voice. He had learned to accept the voice, the voice that he accidentally created through his immature action.

"I want to see you."

Just like that, at midnight, Sicheng bought a flight straight to Seoul. He will never say no to Taeil. He will always be there for Taeil. Even though he was still in his office, barely had any rest, handling a million-dollar project – Taeil will always come first.

Early dawn, Sicheng was already standing in front of Taeil's apartment. When his tiny ex opens the front door for him, his hair was messy, his face was bloated and his eyes were red. Clearly reflecting that he hasn't slept a wink. Sicheng takes a deep breath, regretting every part of his life.