Deviant Love

2 - HER

[Chapter 2]

My heart rate spiked, and I could feel my whole body trembling as I stood there, facing the man who had once held my heart in his hands.

Those haunting blue eyes-once so serene and captivating, now stirred a whirlpool of emotions inside me. How could I forget those eyes, the very ones that had both touched my heart like a gentle stream and drowned it in a relentless tsunami of pain?

Hatred and hurt bubbled within me as I watched his eyes widen, softening as he looked at me. How dare he look at me with such tenderness after everything he had put me through? Who gave him the right to stir up all those buried emotions?

Alexander, my very first love, my every fucking first. The one who stole my teenage heart and shattered it into a million pieces. I was so in love with him, foolishly thinking we were destined for a future together.

I had even created a Pinterest board dedicated to our dream wedding, carefully curating every detail of how I envisioned our life together, only to be left alone, abandoned without a single word.

He ghosted me, vanishing from my life six years ago without a trace. With no messages, no goodbyes, no explanation-nothing. I had discovered his absence only when crying me went knocking on his door after a week of silence, hoping for reassurance.

And there he stood, looking at me as if nothing had happened, as if he hadn't shattered my heart into a thousand shards. The memories flooded back-the days we spent together, the love we shared, the dreams we built. He was a mechanic, and I was a struggling student, but that didn't stop us from being utterly infatuated with each other.

We were broke but happy, spoiling each other with the simplest gestures. Alex-no Alexander brought me daisies every day, claiming they had become his favorite flower because of my name, while I would make him lunch and car magazines to fuel his passion for vintage cars. He had dreams of opening his garage and customizing classic cars-it is-was a dream we once shared.

But all that came crashing down that night when he disappeared without a trace, leaving me heartbroken and abandoned. And now, standing here, facing him after all these years, my emotions were a tangled mess of anger, hurt, and pain.

Travis nudged me, breaking me from the stupor. I watched-how Alexander's eyes, once so serene, darkened with an unmistakable edge of intensity as he glared at Travis.

"Welcome, Boss," everyone greeted him.

As for me, I chose to keep my head bowed, not out of submission, but as a way to protect myself from the tumultuous emotions swirling inside. The past had left scars, and facing Alexander again stirred up a whirlwind of memories and regrets.

I wish I never met him.

As I observed Alexander's tense shoulders and intense gaze, it was clear that he was struggling to control himself, maybe hugging me or diving his tongue to the back of my throat, or probably choking Travis till he fainted from the glare he had been giving my bestie.

From all I knew him, Alexander had anger issues, but he never once raised his voice at me, never harmed a single hair of mine, except when he used to roughly grab my hair while he fucked me from behind while whispering filthy words that still made me wet.

I was a fucking weirdo to get turned on right now.

I hated him for leaving me six years ago, I did not want to look at him anymore, but my pussy was screaming for hot makeup sex. I guess my body liked him so much.

After he left, I thought I could mend my broken heart by seeking male attention. Oh boy, was I wrong! My mind turned into a toxic mess, and I went on a wild spree, hoping that some random flings would help me forget him. But let me tell you, no man even came close to filling that void he left behind.

So, I stopped trying to fill that void with empty encounters and focused on healing myself. It was time to put my happiness first and rediscover who I was without Alexander. It wasn't easy, but with every passing day, I grew more determined to move on.

Yet now look at the pathetic me.

Seriously, the man had it going on-the dark hair, tan skin, those mesmerizing blue eyes, and don't even get me started on that jawline-chiseled to perfection! Oh, and those veins on his hands when they wrapped around my thr-okay, okay, let's stop there. He didn't deserve me fawning over his looks.

My mind zoned as some of the executives rambled on with their speeches. But honestly, I was in a world of mixed emotions and bizarre fantasies.

"Hey, earth to you!" Travis shook me from my thoughts. "Are you okay? You look like you've seen a ghost!"

I nodded subtly. Suddenly my body felt tired. It was only 3 pm. But all I wanted was to go home, crawl into my bed surrounded by my army of soft toys, and drown myself in some Lana Del Rey tunes. Ah, the sweet escape from reality-I needed it right now!

Travis looked at me with concern etched on his face, but I knew I couldn't avoid looking back at Alexander any longer. As I turned my eyes toward him, I caught him staring intensely in my direction, his azure eyes piercing like a hawk, watching my every move.

I watched him retreat with heavy steps, and a part of me wanted to go after Alexander-to demand answers for the pain he had caused. But I knew better than to chase ghosts from the past. Whatever he was thinking, whatever he was feeling-it wasn't my burden to bear anymore.

"Well, umm, he gives me bad vibes," Travis shook his head. "Fuck I had goosebumps when he glared at me."

I remained silent. My mind struggled to reconcile the person standing before me with the Alexander I once knew. He was not the man I remembered. The Alexander I had fallen in love with was like a big, lovable golden retriever-he had a big muscular build, sure, but he was also the kind of guy who cried with me while watching Disney movies.

Seeing him now, so brooding and distant, felt like encountering a stranger. What had happened to him? Where was the sweet and caring soul I once knew?

Stop thinking about him, Daisy, I reminded myself. He does not deserve your thoughts.

With a lot of self-control, I reeled myself back to work.

When will this day end?

----

vote. comment. follow

Instagram: @vairhans