Deviant Love

14 - HER

[Chapter 14]

My mind reeled at the flashback of the night when a guy was grinding on me, and Alexander came to my rescue, carrying me back to his place. My cheeks flushed with embarrassment, and I wanted to bury my face in my hands.

"I can explain," I squeaked, my voice barely audible. But it seemed like Alexander wasn't interested in my explanations just yet.

"Eat," he commanded his voice firm, leaving no room for further discussion. I reluctantly picked up my fork, trying to focus on the food before me instead of the embarrassing memories from the previous night.

"I am so sorry-" I started again, but he cut me off with a stern look.

"Eat and then talk," he said. His expression was blank and unreadable. It was like trying to decipher a secret code and I had no idea how he felt about all of this.

I sighed and took a bite of the blueberry pancake, the sweet and tangy flavor exploding in my mouth. As I chewed, my mind kept drifting back to the ridiculous things I said to him.

"Fucking buddy?" I snorted, trying to stifle my laughter. "That sounds like a terrible porn title."

"You have a nice ass."

"Oo, I can feel the cold air on my ass."

"Oops, that means my vagina is also out."

"I wished those hands were wrapped around my—"

I choked on the food.

Panic bubbled inside me as my airway felt blocked, and I gasped for breath, my hand instinctively flying to my throat to dislodge the stubborn fruit.

Coughs erupted from my throat, and I could feel my face turning red from the effort. I felt like a complete idiot, choking on a simple blueberry. My fingers trembled as I patted my chest hoping the choking sensation would disappear.

Amid my battle with the rogue blueberry, I saw Alexander's face contorted in sheer horror and panic. His eyes bulged out like saucers, and in what felt like a blur of milliseconds, he leaped into action, catapulting himself from his seat like a superhero on a rescue mission.

I barely had time to react before he was by my side, his hand landing on my back with the force of a charging bull. "Fear not, fair maiden! I shall save you from the clutches of the evil blueberry!" Okay, so maybe he didn't say that exactly, but that's how it felt in my slightly delirious state.

His patting was enthusiastic, to say the least as if he were trying to drum the offending blueberry out of existence. I flinched from his touch, not expecting such a rapid intervention, and in the process, I nearly toppled over in my chair.

He swiftly executed a gravity-defying move, snatching me by the waist and pulling me towards him. My eyes widened in surprise as I found myself inches away from his face, our noses practically touching.

Oops! My reflexes got the best of me, and before I knew it, Alexander was on the floor, his butt making a not-so-gentle acquaintance with the marbled surface. I gasped, my hand flying to cover my mouth in shock.

"Oh my gosh, I'm so sorry!" I blurted out, my face turning a shade of red that matched the ripest tomato. "I didn't mean to push you that hard."

"O ssibal jebal," I cursed. "Jeongmal mianhae." [Oh for the fucks sake. I am so sorry.]

My voice turned high-pitched as I looked at him apologetically.

To my surprise, I heard his deep rumble as he chuckled. His laughter was rich and warm as it sent shivers down my spine in the most pleasant way possible. It was a sound I didn't expect to hear from him, given his usual stoic demeanor.

"It's alright, don't worry about it," he reassured me, his laughter subsiding but the smile lingering on his lips.

My lips twitched, wanting to smile in response, but I held back. It wouldn't let my guard down so easily.

Suddenly, a wave of self-disgust hit me. How pathetic was I? I was enjoying this moment with him, forgetting the past and how he had hurt me. I scolded myself internally for being so silly. How could I let myself enjoy his presence after all he had put me through?

His hand reached toward my face, but I slapped it away without hesitation. "Don't touch me," I said firmly, my heart aching at the hurt that flashed in his eyes. "Alexander," I started, determined to get my point across.

"Alex. Call me Alex," he interjected, his voice pleading.

I shook my head, refusing to let him divert me from what I needed to say. "Listen, Alexander," I emphasized his name, wanting him to understand the seriousness of my words. "Last time at my place, I was not thinking clearly, but let me state it to you now."

The smile on his face disappeared, and he listened attentively.

"Sure, you've become attractive over the years," I admitted, "but that doesn't mean I want you. You may be my type, but I've moved on. You left me six years ago, and I've decided to build a life without you."

His expression turned pale, and I saw the pain in his eyes.

"I want you to do the same, Alexander," I pleaded, my voice softening. "We're not what we were before. I am happy now, and I don't want you back in my life and leave it in shambles again."

His desperation was evident as he held onto my hand, trying to keep me close. "Please," he begged, his voice cracking.

"I don't like you anymore, Alexander."

----

vote. comment. follow.

Instagram: @vairhans

vairhans.carrd.co