peeta mellark ༄

10. i can't be what you need

lyrics from sarah by alex g

you sat up with a gasp as you felt a hand grip your shoulder tight.

heart racing, you stared at a concerned peeta, his eyebrows furrowed.

"sorry," he said breathlessly. "i'm sorry. you weren't waking up. i thought.."

he trailed off, and your heart slowed and your featured softened. you could imagine peeta, coming back to find you cold and curled up in a fetal position, trying to wake you up but to no avail.

"it's okay," you whispered with a raspy throat.

he stared at you for a moment in a comfortable silence. he watched you tug your jacket closer to yourself, and he thought how much better you looked with all the blood washed from your clothes. you looked like a girl. the same girl he saw that day of the reaping.

broken from his thoughts, he held up a rabbit by it's ears. "look what i got," he announced with a smile.

your eyes widened upon seeing it, and you immediately thought to reach out and feel the softness of it's fur. "peeta, thats amazing. how did you.."

he grinned, and for a moment he looked like a simple boy two. you were just two teenagers again, just for a second. "you taught me how to trap, remember?"

you nodded slowly. "yeah, i did."

he set the animal down in front of you both. "i, uh, i wasn't sure how i was supposed to cook it though. i figured i would just let you do it, you know more than me."

you tried not to make a face. the idea of getting up and making food for you both seemed appealing, and your stomach growled at the thought, but the ache in your hand returned and you knew you couldn't do much.

"in the morning we can. we can start the day off with a meal and have leftovers," you instructed seriously. peeta agreed immediately, as if you were a superior figure to him. "okay. that's a good idea."

you peeked behind peeta, staring out the black hole of the cave. "how long has it been dark?" you asked. he turned around to inspect the stars. "not long. i came back as soon as i saw the sun setting. picked the bunny up along the way." you gave a small smile at his use of the word bunny. only peeta would say that, you thought to yourself fondly.

it was quiet again, before he broke the silence. "it was beautiful," he said ominously.

"huh?" you replied.

his face, turned to stare at the wall, turned back to you with a calm expression. "the sunset, it was beautiful." you took in his calm expression, wishing he was able to feel like that all the time. but looking deeper into his eyes, you saw a glint of sadness.

feeling this moment become more serious than it originally was, you found the questions you wanted to ask him tumbling out. "what happened to the careers? you were with them."

he broke the eye contact, looking down. "i was asleep. and then i wake up, and they're talking about killing me."

"oh, peeta," you murmured sadly. he shrugged. "i know. i had to pretend like i didn't hear anything. then i waited til i had the chance, and i just ran. i was alone for a little while. and then i found you," he ended off hopefully, looking back up at you with a soft expression.

you gave a small smile, although it wasn't real. deep in your brain you wanted to tell him to not trust you so blindly. because if it came down to it, you didn't want to hurt peeta. but your heart told you that you cared for this boy. if you really cared for him, you would leave now and not put his life in danger any longer.