Roses and Cherry Blossoms

Chapter 29

"Hey." I force out.

A few tears stream down my face, I wipe them away before they fall into my mouth.

"It's been a year." I manage to get out.

I know that the dirt is getting on my plaid skirt, and the grass isn't as dry as I thought it was.

The breeze is minimal, my cream sweater is enough to keep me warm.

"I don't know what happens to someone when they die, but if you can see me, I hope you are proud."

I look at the engraving on the headstone. They share one.

Cassandra and Theodore Jasper. Their birthdays are only three months apart, both born the same year. But their death date is the exact same. September fourteenth.

"I turned eighteen. You both told me that was when my world would open, but that happened a bit earlier than you planned." I choke out.

I place the roses in front of the headstone.

"I don't know what you had planned for me. You never really mentioned college, but that's where I am now. I go to Boston University, I'm studying to be a teacher."

The tears continue to stream down my face, I already know my eyes are as red as can be.

"You guys are supposed to be here." I can barely get my words out. "You promised you would be. You promised not to leave me."

I shouldn't be mad, but I am. It's not fair for me to get mad at them for dying, there was no possible way they could have survived that crash.

"I still have my Cupcake. He is kind of the only thing keeping me going. If it weren't for him, I would probably lock myself in the house and live the life of solitude I did when I had you both."

I stare ahead, watching the decorative pinwheel next to a copper colored headstone spin ever so slightly.

"I know I already told you guys this, but it hasn't changed. Cupcake is my person, I'm positive. He is going to be the person I spend my life with. If you can see me, I'm sure you can tell how amazing he is. I always think about marrying him, I know I am going to. I can imagine my dress, the flowers, the venue, everything is perfect. Except I am walking down the aisle alone."

Papa should be there, holding my arm, walking me to Cupcake.

"I can't believe it has been a whole year. It still doesn't feel real. I feel like I am going to walk into the house one day and you will both be there." I exhale.

I dig my shoe into the ground in front of me, getting dirt on it.

"Sometimes I wonder if I am going to wake up and this will all have been a dream. Sometimes I wish it was, I wish that I never lost you. But I also don't want to live a life without Kai. I love him so much. I wish I could have both, you guys and him."

Leaves crunch behind me. I don't even bother turning around.

I probably should, there could be a stranger behind me, a kidnapper maybe.

When I left the house, I texted Cupcake, telling him I was fine and needed time alone.

Cupcake knows me better than that, he knows that I never want to be alone. He knows that I only came by myself because I would feel bad that he had to comfort me. He also knows exactly where I came based on the date.

I look at the ground next to me, black shoes, as expected.

A black jacket is draped over my shoulders.

He sits next to me, wrapping an arm around me.

I look over at him, giving him as much of a smile as I can through my tears.