I Don't Need Love

Part 19: Afraid

RAYAAN

I glared at him, who was now licking his fingers after dinner. During the whole time, I was sitting there observing Meera's nervous self who was trying to hide in the kitchen. The air between us was usually filled with silence, but tonight there was an additional layer of awkwardness from her side. I had no courage to wipe that out, and I felt lost in a sea of thoughts. What must she be thinking of me? That I am a pervert? Of course, that was the impression my dear cousin Aryan's message must have given her

She didn't even waste a second before standing up and escaping to the kitchen again after she was done with her food.

"Did you reply to messages, Aryan?" I asked him, gritting my teeth.

He looked at me then at my phone and after a complete minute of silence, he replied, "Ah! yes. Mrs. Saxena asked me to reply to your messages. Today she taught me how to write professional emails, she is really sweet. I replied to all your messages"

"I didn't know that a "kissing emoji" is considered to be a professional," I asked him, showing him the message he sent to Meera.

"Oh, This! I thought you were busy so I replied on your behalf. I thought it would look rude to Bhabhi if I didn't use an emoji so I sent her a sweet message. " His eyes twinkled looking at the message then he blushed looking at me, "You are acting as if you don't kiss her"

stood up from my chair and held his neck from behind, forcing it down on the table. "Next time, only do things you are asked to, okay?" I whispered into his ear with a tight-lipped smile before making my way to my room.

Now what will I say to her?

As expected, she didn't dare to enter the room. I kept waiting but she didn't come, So I turned off the lights. I was pretty sure she would come then. And finally, she graced the room with her presence after ten minutes or so. She tip-toed to the washroom.

I was trying to keep my eyes open, I was tired but if I dared to fall back into slumber I won't be able to talk to her till the next night. I was awake when she sat on the bed trying to not make a noise. Seconds later I felt her warm breath near my cheeks, "You are sleeping?" She asked and like every time I didn't answer her making her believe that I was really asleep.

Sighing in relief she laid down on her back. Just as her back hit the bed. I asked, "Why are you avoiding me, Meera?" I slowly turned towards her, she was in shock, her expression said she was cheated. With her mouth open and eyes wide she looked at me in disbelief. I suppressed the urge to chuckle at her, her comical expressions are worth watching. Always.

"Meera?" I called her again. She hummed confused. "Why are you avoiding me?"

"I...I ...No I am not" She whispered timidly.

"Really?" I shifted a little closer to her. Her eyes turned wide only if that was possible. For a fact, I also knew her heart must be beating like a drum.

She hummed again trying to get away from the bed.

"Are you afraid if you will stay close to me, I will kiss you?" I whispered moving to her side completely. She stilled hearing me, not expecting me to say that.

She shook her head baffled at my words., "N...No" She whispered back trying to shift her gaze from mine. The silver shine from the moon was directly falling on her face making her just as gorgeous as the goddess.

"But it looks like you are " The words left my mouth in a slow whisper, I was already falling in a daze of her soft and innocent face.

She sat up instantly as if her body was on fire. Before she could run from me again, I grabbed her wrist pulling her back to lie on the bed. She was lying beside me, I supported my weight on my elbow, turning to her side. Her right hand struck in mine.

"Meera, intimacy is a part of marriage but it's not the only part. And I will never force you to get involved in that part without you being comfortable with me. Don't be afraid of me " I said gently caressing her hand with my thumb.

She lifted her gaze at me. I smiled at her and she returned back a tiny smile.

There was a moment of silence between us. I kept drawing circles on the back of her palm while she lay close to me without a sign of resistance. She didn't try to move away from me and that gave me a sense of relief.

"You were really scared" This time it was not really a question. I knew she was and she nodded confirming my statement. A low chuckle escaped my lips.

I imagined her running away from me, believing I was a monster. It would be quite a sight to see people asking me why my wife was running like that, and I would have to answer that she is afraid I will kiss her.

Aryan would probably faint, thinking we are a very lovey-dovey couple

"Aryan send that message on my behalf of me. He thought I was too busy to reply to your text. " She glanced away embarrassed at my teasing look.

It felt really nice to have her this close to me and not be nervous and awkward. Her happiness gives me jitters.

She soon fell asleep, and I kept admiring her beauty in the moonlight.