Ride with me • Yeongyu

V

Beomgyu locked himself in his bedroom again.
Head in his knees, the routine begins again.

He isn't bothered enough to accept the hundreds of calls from his manager, leaving the phone ringing in the silence of the room.

He hated him. He missed him so much but hated him.

But if he hated him so much why did he obsess over him for over a year now, everyday thinking about him ?

He also hated himself for that now. It took one meeting to make him realize how messed up Yeonjun left him.

He looked over to his drawer, an empty bottle of xanax taunting him. He hadn't consumed any in a week as he ran out of them and was too tired to purchase some more.

Then he looked over to his nightstand, where uncountable empty bottles of soju stood, some even on the floor.

Finally he looked out the window, seeing lights everywhere shimmering while he was sitting there alone in the darkness of his room.

The sun was bright that day, but that was it. He got up to draw the curtains, leaving himself in total darkness.

He plopped down on his bed, watching the ceiling as he tried to guess up to where it stood in the dark.

And then he thought about the offer he got earlier that day.

A trip. With Yeonjun. To fix themselves.

Now he never heard of anything more lame. He didn't need fixing...at least that's what he thought.

And Yeonjun ? He could go fuck himself for the little fixing he had to do.

For Beomgyu he was completely fine and there was no way that he ever felt sad about their breakup.

He made it happen. He broke up with him. He ran off with a guy Beomgyu had never heard of before.

But then it sounded tempting.
Beomgyu still loved Yeonjun. He always did.

So why wouldn't he accept the deal ? He missed Yeonjun afterall !

Beomgyu closed his eyes tightly as he didn't want to think about it again, his head was starting to hurt.

His phone rang again and he decided to answer, he needed to think about something else either way.

"Hello ?"
«Beomgyu ! You're supposed to be working aren't you ? »
"Yes. Yes i am."
«so where are you ?!»
"An emergency occured and i had to go as soon as possible. My apologies."
«now how many god damned emergencies have to occur for you to never come to work ? You ran off three times last week !»
"I know. It's hard right now i'm sorry. I'll be back this evening sir."
«No. don't come back. I'm done with you and your bullshit. Your contract will be terminated tonight. Goodbye.»

And oh well, life didn't need him anymore neither did it.

He threw his phone across the room, not knowing where it landed as there was no light at all.

He turned on his stomach and shoved his face into his pillow, screaming as loudly as he could hoping whatever was wrong with him would leave.

Except once he stopped screaming, life was back to how it was 10 seconds ago.

And it's in a puddle of tears and agony that the boy went to sleep.

.•.•

The routine continued again but with a twist now. Beomgyu had to search for a new job.

Everyday he woke up early to stroll into cities and apply in every store he saw.

Even the more dangerous ones like prostitution or suspicious bars.

He needed to pay his rent at the end of each month and his now old job would do the job. Now he was left hopeless and in risk of losing his home, sweet home.

And everyday he got back to his sweet home and waited in front of the mail box in hope of an answer for a job.

He remembers how when he and Yeonjun shared an apartment for 5 years, everything was so much easier.

They both had steady jobs and a bunch of money to do everything they wanted to do.

They split the rent payment in two and Yeonjun, wealthier, would sometimes pay it by himself.

Beomgyu had someone to come to everyday and fall asleep while cuddling him in front of their favorite movies.

Now this feels like a fever dream.
Whenever he comes home, he's welcomed by the darkness of his bedroom.

He falls asleep cuddling the void hoping to find some warmth in it.

And he falls asleep thinking about how Yeonjun would be falling asleep : maybe cuddling with Soobin (before their breakup), watching a nice movie in his comfy bedroom, eating late night cookies by himself...

A life Beomgyu wouldn't be able to afford even if it was for free.

.•.•

Yeonjun got back home perplexed. Too perplexed to even breathe correctly.

Beomgyu's words hit him a bit too hard in his opinion, but he knew it was a taste of his own medicine.

He directly went to his bedroom and laid down on his double bed now used by one person only.

Maybe if he wasn't so stupid...

Though he truly believed, secretly, that things would arrange if they went on that trip together.

He had a million of things to say as his apology and a year of sadness to make up for in maybe a week of a trip.

He stared at his ceiling thinking of ways to make the latter accept the offer.

But he came up with none.

A few minutes passed and one did come up.

He didn't know if it was the right thing to do, but he needed to do it.

He grabbed his phone and texted Taehyun his plotting, to which he received a "Whatever, you do you." and he was perfectly content with it.

And so he got up and grabbed his keys.

S_ordinary