Ride with me • Yeongyu

XXVI

TW : Mention of self-harm.

It started with a kiss and ended with hands all over each other's body. Beomgyu failed to care about his own body after the kiss, letting Yeonjun look and see all he wants.

He was also thankful his hyung didn't comment on any of his past mistakes, instead kissing them and embracing his warm body.

Though, it took one leg in between Beomgyu's fragile legs for the younger to come back to his sense and make sure to knock the older into some as well.

"H-hyung..." Beomgyu said between the older's lips. "Stop now."

Yeonjun froze in place and immediately let go of the younger. "Did i do something wrong ? Sorry."

The younger chuckled after breathing a few times, both of them being breathless. "N-no, but let's not go further. Got it?"

He nodded, "got it. The water is cold but i'm so hot right now.." he said as he ran a hand through his wet hair.

Beomgyu locked his arms back around the older's neck with a grin, "You are..."

Now in what sense did he mean that ? Who cares, Yeonjun loved every instance of it. "Damn baby i was talking about my body temperature !"

The younger laughed at the silly joke, "And i was talking about your body. Same thing."

His hand's traveled from his neck to his abs, tracing the defined lines with his index finger,
"Since when did you start working out like this ?"

He stopped his travelling finger at the waistband of Yeonjun's boxers, pinching it as a habit of fidgeting with anything.

He didn't know that habit of his, especially when Yeonjun is the prop, turned Yeonjun on everytime.

"Well thanks, i know i look pretty good nowadays. Maybe you coming back to my life makes you see me at my best..."

His hands found the tiny waist in front of them and brought it closer, much closer, until both of they're stomachs were against each other's.

Beomgyu held on the older's muscular biceps, flustering for his life.

"I started working out a year ago, maybe a coping mechanism after our breakup. I didn't let the sadness come to me so i took it all out on working out machines. I still lived a rough year i assure you." The older said, brushing his nose against Beomgyu's.

Then the younger reminded himself of his coping mechanisms during the past year : drugs and alcohol.

He wasn't ready and thought he'd never be to really talk about it in depths. He wants Yeonjun to see the better version of him from now on too.

"I see, that's nice. Hey hyung... can we go sit over there ?" He asked suddenly.

He pointed towards beach chairs, the ones where you can lay down on, placed on the patio. Even a basket of fruits and drinks between the two seats to make it cozier.

Yeonjun agreed and dragged him by the arm towards the exit of the pool. Now out of the water, Beomgyu realized that he was in fact shirtless.

But then he saw how Yeonjun didn't even look at him, taking the towels and handing one to him before directly looking elsewhere.

Something made him feel so reassured, but another pressured him into thinking that he needed someone to see the scars...he needed someone to see in how bad of a state he was.

So bravely enough, "Hyung, look.", he said.

Yeonjun turned around and looked straight into his eyes, not daring to look below. "Yes baby ?"

"Look." He repeated, no emotion given on his face to tell the latter what to look at or why, "Look" he insisted when Yeonjun didn't respond.

"Where ?" He finally asked, standing closer to Beomgyu. The younger looked at him with a puff and circled his upper body with his index finger.

That's only when Yeonjun understood. He looked. And oh did he regret every past choice he made ; even this one.

Scars on his stomach going anywhere and everywhere, others on his lower and upper arms and some on his thighs even.

"These are what I'm really insecure about and regret a lot. You can look at my body ; you should be able to as my...hyung. You're the only one who knows about them now."

Yeonjun felt some tingles in his throat, not feeling well at all. "I..."

Beomgyu cut him short, "Don't say anything, i just wanted you to know why i wear jackets all the time. I doubt they'll ever go away. I hate them."

Yeonjun nodded, "I hate them too, but they're nothing to be ashamed of. You having them says a lot about what you went through...maybe or maybe not because of me. Thank you for opening up to me about it. I would like to apologize but you wont let me..."

The younger stepped closer to him, their noses almost touching as his head tilted upwards. "Because i'm the one who gave them to me, you didn't do it. I did it. But if you really want to do it then i can't stop you. Thanks hyung."

Yeonjun didn't waste a second and took him in his arms, skin over skin, a hug that could've melted them into one. "I'm sorry Beomgyu-yah, i'm sorry."

Beomgyu ran a reassuring hand over the older's back, "it's okay, thank you for acknowledging. And thank you for accepting me again. I love you."

Yeonjun nodded, "I love you too. So much."

Beomgyu chuckled, not knowing the older was silently crying, "So so much...Hyung are you crying? Look at me."

He backed up from the embrace and held Yeonjun's head, seeing his wet cheeks and red eyes.

"Hyung...don't cry please." He said as he wiped his tears with his thumbs. "I'm better now, just allow me to be a better boyfriend."

Yeonjun shook his head. "You were the best and most perfect boyfriend back then already ; i was just too dumb to understand. I mean it, you can't become better than how you were because your presence itself is a blessing. Allow me to be a better boyfriend. Forever. Husband someday too. I promise."

Beomgyu chuckled, "okay okay...so...what are we now ? Don't tell me soulmates again."

The latter chuckled as well, "Well, i'm ready to be your boyfriend again. You ?"

Beomgyu smiled the sweetest and most forbidden smile he could ever give, it belonged to the heavens. "I'm ready too."

They both smiled to each other and hugged each other again before spoiling each other with kisses.

But not for too long, "Babe let's stop and eat those grapes they look too good~" Beomgyu whined after releasing from the kiss.

And Yeonjun being the easy hyung he is, let him savour the grapes.

S_ordinary