Easing The Pain

A Helping Hand

I wake up and for a second it feels like a dream, until I try to move. Pain shoots all over my body and I almost scream in agony. I settle back down, wincing as I can now feel the sheets against my skin. Tears roll down my cheeks as I remember all the pain from yesterday. That's all I can remember in fact; I don't even know how I got here.

I hear my door click before the knob turns and it opens. Since when do they lock doors? Someone slips in and closes the door behind them. It's still dark outside so I can't really see anything. I think about trying to move but given the amount of pain I'm in, I'll just deal with whoever it is. As they approach, my breathing quickens and I fight the urge to shut my eyes.

The moonlight casts a glow on them once they're close enough and I sigh. Ratched kneels beside my bed and pushes hair out of my face. "It's just me, you don't need to be scared" she whispers, a soft smile on her face. I stare back at her blankly, I want to return her smile but it's all too much for me.

"I'm sorry they did that to you... I promise it'll never happen again" she says, her voice cracking a bit. It's silent for a while as she strokes my hair and I just stare. "I brought you some medicine... and some cream for the— for you" she stutters. Is she nervous? "I'm really sorry I- I failed you, Alex" she whispers. She called me Alex!

I shake my head very carefully and she gives me a small smile. "You don't deserve this..." she mumbles and I produce a tight lipped smile. Tears threatening to spill over my waterline. "It's ok to cry... you have every right to. And I promise... you're safe with me" she whispers and it opens the floodgates.

I try to turn my head away from her but she takes my face in both hands. Our eyes locking as she produces a sad smile. I close my eyes and a few seconds later I feel her hair brush my nose. I open my eyes to see that she has her face pressed against my own. Giving me a hug as best as she can given my condition.

After a few minutes she pulls away and wipes my face gently. "Here" she mutters, pulling a bottle out of her pocket. "I figured you might not want to sit up to swallow pills" she comments, opening the cap. "Open... it's-" before she can explain I just open my mouth. I trust you. As if she could hear my thoughts, she smiles genuinely.

Slowly she pours it in my mouth and I swallow it all. "You should feel better in about half an hour. It'll hopefully be manageable by then" she remarks. You're so beautiful. "And the cream... do you think you can put it on?" she asks softly, I look away from her and she cups my cheek so I look at her again.

"It's ok if you can't. I'll help you" she whispers, her eyes staring into my own reflecting warmth. I blink twice and she nods, "I'll be back soon then. I wanna wait until the medicine kicks in a little" she tells me. A sigh leaving her lips just before she stands and straightens her dress. I brush my hand against hers softly and she turns back around.

She turns her hand over so her palm faces up and I look down at it. I run my fingertips over it, tracing the lines gently. I grab her hand and squeeze it as good as I can in this state. I return my gaze to her and she has a downturned smile on her face. "You're welcome, Alex" she says, her smile widening a bit as she says my name.

I smile too and let go of her hand slowly, lingering for a bit. She pulls away just as slow before turning to leave this time. As she opens the door she stops and faces me. "And don't worry about them getting to you. I'm the only one that has a key" she assures me before finally leaving.

about an hour later...

I've forced myself to sit up, the pain subsiding to a bearable amount. My skin stings but, as long as I stay relatively still, it's manageable. The door clicks again and this time I don't get scared because of what Ratched told me. She enters and locks it behind her. Now that I can really see her, I smile more.

She returns it and sits on the edge of my bed this time. "I see you're feeling a bit better" she remarks and I nod. "So I'll end up needing to take off your clothes to apply the cream. But we can start with your legs if that makes you more comfortable" she voices and I nod softly.

She gets up and washes her hands first, coming back and putting some cream in her hands. She rubs her hands together a bit before carefully applying it. It's just the right temperature, not too hot and not too cold. I watch as she gently moves her hands across my skin. Lifting my leg just to rest it on her own so she's not squeezing me.

"I take it you detest Bucket as much as I do now?" she jokes, her head snapping up immediately after. A look of slight fear on her face but I just smile widely and giggle a bit. She relaxes and looks back to what she's doing with a soft blush on her cheeks. "Alright... I should take your dress off now" she says and I nod.

She carefully grabs the hem and meets my eyes to check on me. I lift my hips so she can pull it up and raise my arms to make it easier for her to take off. Once I'm down to my underwear she sits back down. Repeating the process over again and periodically checking with me. Once she's finished, she puts me back in my nightgown and leans back.

"All done" she states, closing the tube and standing up. I look at her with curious eyes as she goes into the bathroom to wash her hands. She comes back and I watch her every move, expecting her to leave. She picks up the tube and sets it on the nightstand, sitting down closer to my head.

"You can talk to me, you know? If you want to..." she says, her tone gentle as her hands rest in her lap. "I won't judge you" she adds, her eyes radiating sincerity. "Isn't that your job? To 'cure' me" I say and she looks happy I replied but sad by my response. She looks away from me and thinks about her response.

"It's my job to make sure you're safe... and happy" she sighs, turning her head to look in my eyes. "I think it's clear I'm not" I chuckle sadly, "I'm sorry" she repeats. "It's not your fault... you're the only good thing about this place" I utter honestly. "And thank you—for taking care of me. I know it's your job but... still. You called me Alex" I mutter with a grin.

"I figured the situation warranted it" she chuckles sadly, "well since we're on first name basis now... what's your name?" I ask. "Mildred" she mumbles, "that's a pretty name. It suits you" I tell her. She blushes lightly and turns away from me, clearing her throat and standing up. She straightens out her dress and takes a deep breath that I don't think I was supposed to notice.

"I should be going..." she mutters, not giving me a chance to reply before she moves. It took me a second to react; she'd already made it to the door by the time I caught up. "Goodbye, Mildred" I mutter softly, just loud enough for her to hear me. She pauses for a second, her hand lingering on the door knob.

"Goodbye, Alex" she whispers.