Easing The Pain

Just Talk To Me

My eyes flutter open slowly as I adjust to the bright light leaking through the curtains. I feel a weight on my chest and look down to see Mildred still sleeping peacefully. I smile and stroke some hair back so I can completely see her face. Her nose twitches a bit and I have to bite back a giggle.

She begins to stir and I return my hands to her back. Rubbing gentle circles to coax her out of her sleep. She yawns cutely and I smile widely as I watch her eyes open. Almost instantly she tilts her head up and sees me smiling at her. She smiles too and leans up a bit to move closer to me.

Her hand reaches up and caresses my cheek, I close my eyes and then our lips meet. I freeze in shock as that was the last thing I was expecting and she quickly pulls back. She looks just as shocked as me but instantly jumps into action. It feels like she's gone in the blink of an eye.

My room door left open and the shutting of another sounding as I come to. I don't move for a few minutes, still trying to process what just happened. Once my body catches up with my brain I jump up. I run over to her room and knock softly on her door. I don't get an answer so I knock again a bit harder.

"Mildred" I say, trying to turn the knob only to realize it's locked. "Mildred" I sigh, "go away" she yells and I let my head fall on the door. "Come on, Millie. Let's talk about it, ok? Just open the door" I propose, "no. Go away" she repeats. I walk back to my room, only to grab my book I didn't finish yesterday.

I also grab a pillow and blanket, setting up a little space outside her door. I curl my legs closer to me so she won't trip when she comes out. As I start reading I can hear her shuffle around in the room. I start to hear strangled breathing and I soon realize she's crying. My heart breaks as I have to hear it and can't do anything about it.

Then I remember something I used to do when I was younger. I check out the knob and the space between the door and the frame. I quickly and quietly pick up my things, carelessly discarding them on my bed. I go to the kitchen and grab a butter knife, praying that this works.

I go to the door and try to be as quiet as I can. Not that it matters, since she probably can't hear me anyway. I jiggle the knife into the space and struggle to get it to catch onto the little latch. I keep myself calm as I try again and again until finally I get it. A little click sound hits my ear and I smile widely as I push the door open.

My smile drops just as fast when I see her curled up in the far corner of the room. Her knees pulled to her chest while her head is buried in her arms. I set the knife down on the dresser carefully and take slow steps towards her. "Mildred..." I whisper before I'm too close, her head darts up and she looks at me angrily.

"Get. OUT" she screams as I keep walking closer. I see the light makeup she wears is running down her face, smeared by her attempts to wipe her tears. I fall to my knees and crawl the short distance between us until I'm right in front of her. She turns away from me and I take her face in my hands.

"Leave me alone" she whispers, "I will never leave you alone" I reply softly. She stares into my eyes and I do the same as we sit there. I lean in close, giving her time to pull away but she just stays still. I press my lips gently against her own, waiting before moving them. It takes her a second but she slowly kisses me back.

I pull away and smile softly at her as I wipe her tears. "I'll be right back" I say, getting up and going into her bathroom. It doesn't take me long to find the wipes and when I do I exit and kneel in front of her again. I take her chin in one hand and turn her face as I wipe her remaining makeup off. I sigh once I'm done and take the dirty ones to the trash, placing the container back.

I come back and carefully pull her up, helping her sit on the bed. She still won't look at me unless I make her which causes me to pout. "Millie..." I whisper, I see a blush rise on her cheeks as I say that. "You like when I call you that?" I ask and she nods slowly. "Look at me, Millie" I order softly and she hesitantly raises her head.

"Gosh, you're beautiful" I sigh happily and she blushes even more, looking away from me again. "No no no. Look... at... me" I say as I turn her head again, "you're gorgeous, Millie" I reiterate and she shakes her head. "What do you mean no?" I ask confused, "just no, Alex" she whispers. "I'll need you to explain that, because the woman I'm looking at... is breathtaking" I smile.

"I'm not pretty enough for you, Alex. You're—well you're amazing and... so young. You should be with someone better suited for you, that's not me. I'm—I'm not good enough" she states, beginning to get worked up again. "Listen to me. I don't know who told you that but it's complete and utter bullshit. You are intelligent, beautiful, funny, and so much more" I start.

"I love being around you. You are SO much more than enough for me. You are perfect to me, ok? I don't care how old or young you are, that doesn't matter to me" I say, "Alex, I'm 45" she sighs. "So? You make me happy, Millie. That's all that matters" I state and she softly clicks her tongue. "Do I make you happy?" I ask, "yes... very happy" she admits softly.

"Ok then. As long as we make each other happy, everything else will fall into place" I say, "but I don't—I've never been with a woman before" she confesses. "That's ok too. I'll teach you and we can learn each other... together" I comment. "Ok" she agrees, a small smile on her face. "Beautiful. Now... what're we having for dinner? I'm starving" I say making us both giggle.