travellers || Woosan

16 | dune

Waking up the next morning, Wooyoung feels regretful.

Was it wrong to immediately tell San he would be alright being friends? Is he being too much of a naive idiot? Was he too easy? Did he let him off the hook too quickly?

He has this inner conflict with himself the entire time, staying in bed for a total of thirty seven minutes after waking up and staring up at the wall while his thoughts roam around. He recalls every mean comment, every sneer and every single piece of disrespect and negativity San has thrown against him ever since he found out about Wooyoung's interest in men. It hurts to remember that and it hurts to know that someone would generally ever think that is the way one should treat another person.

But then he also knows that San is not completely heartless either...

He has seen him around his friends several times, has seen the way Seonghwa and Hongjoong care a lot about him too, saying they know for sure that San is not an asshole, apart from the homophobia he is trying to get rid of now. Wooyoung cares a lot about his hyungs and their opinions.

Then there have been teeny tiny moments in which San has shown Wooyoung his good sides as well. Like when Wooyoung got hurt during a mission and could not see his wound to treat it or another time when Wooyoung was almost hit by some dude thinking he wanted to steal from him and San subconsciously, protectively hid Wooyoung behind himself while he talked the guy out of trying to attack his travel partner.

And then there has also been that time just yesterday when when he saved Wooyoung from that group of men and proceeded to hold him tightly for as long as Wooyoung needed him to, without pushing him away.

Wooyoung knows that he is not simply being San's friend now, promising to help and be there for him, just because he is feeling pity for San and his family situation. That is not it at all. It is him having been shown another side of San's. He was shown an emotional, open and normal side of his. One with less hostility, but pure regret about having hurt those he loves the most.

He said he was willing to change for them, especially after having had a few days by himself to properly process and think about what to do. It might be stupid of Wooyoung to easily forgive San and give him a proper chance, but he is too good of a guy to just not do it. He is going to be himself around San and treat him like he has promised, just like nothing has happened between them before. And when San turns out to be an absolute asshole, Wooyoung is going to just not give a single fuck about him anymore and drop him the same exact way San dropped him after they had had sex with each other in that cell; coldly and without any remorse.

No, Wooyoung would go out of everything as the moral winner. Karma gets everyone at some point and Wooyoung is going to keep his own clean.

So he sighs deeply when he has finally figured out for himself that he is most certainly not the issue or the bad one by giving an absolutely messed up guy a chance to better himself. Even if said messed up guy is one of his high school bullies.

Though he is sure that if Aurora was not a thing, he would have probably been a bit harder to be convinced that San could get better. But as his travel partner, he wants to believe in some kind of miracle.

Maybe that is why he is now finally looking at himself in the mirror, wearing an outfit he has ended up settling for after changing it for a total of seven times. For some reason, outfit number eight just seems to be the only one suited to be worn at university today.