diary of a broken soul

Page 14

Dear diary,

Everyone has been saying, "At least you survive."
Upon hearing those, memories from all the battles I won flash before my eyes.

I survived.

I look for the reflection of my eyes. It's different. Any signs of life or fragments of who I was were gone.

She's gone.

The child in me is dead. My heart was broken, and my soul was destroyed.

I was just a child!

I was forced to grow up and understand the world by myself.

I was just a child.

I don't need to be strong.

I need to feel safe.

I don't need to beg.

I deserved to be loved.

They call me independent, but I was just a child!
I was meant to be dependent.

I was too young to understand, too young to run away, and too young to pray for my death.

I survived!

They watch how I am barely fighting, almost giving up, begging for help, asking for a little less than too much.

I survive, but I am no longer the person I used to be. No feeling of nostalgia. No feeling of fulfillment.

I can't feel the presence of the little girl inside me who wishes to live the life I am living right now.

She's gone; I'm alive.

Indeed, I survived.