"Have you got no shame?" Pinandilatan ko ito ng mata dahil after class ay pinasabayan ako sa mga bodyguards nito palabas hanggang makaabot kami sa parking lot. I didn't have a chance to protest because they gathered my things and escorted me out immediately when they saw me walking in the corridor of my locker.
We are inside his Armored Chevrolet Suburban SUV. Magkatapat lamang kami ngunit gusto niyang mas lumapit pa sa akin, kaya naman sinipa ko ito. He glared at me but didn't do anything. "You're not answering my calls, Arsinoe." Mababang pagkakasabi pero mahihimigan ang tampo.
Am I obligated to return his call?
Tumingin ako sa labas kung nasaan ang dalawang security escort na sasakyan ni Martin. I dropped the formality since he told me so. Sinadya kong huwag sagutin ang mga tawag niya. He sends me home, yeah, but to my grandparents mansion.
Which I hadn't agreed to in the first place.
Ayaw kong umuwi roon, but he insisted para hindi mahalata na wala akong maalala for the past two months. He said if I want to find out the truth while waiting for the results of the examination of my medication and my blood sample, I have to pretend and behave for a mean time until we find the reason why I couldn't remember.
Whenever I think about it, it makes me nauseous. Which made me angry towards him!
Tinignan ko siya sa mata ng may galit at pag-uusig. If I had a lack of reaction facing him, he was full of it. Nahihirapan akong tanggapin ang pag-aalala nito. I'm Arsinoe, and I grew up being less affectionate. Itong pinapakita niya ayaw kong maramdaman!
"That's why you showed up here. I don't like you coming here and fetching me. Perhaps your presence shouldn't be here!" Singhal ko sa kaniya, not minding his changing aura. Nagtagis ang bagang nito, pero wala akong pake!
He doesn't own me, para manduhan o maging mapaghanap ng atensyon mula sa akin. I don't care about how he feels!
Akmang bubuksan ko na ang pintuan ng sasakyan niya, nang hinila ako nito pa-upo sa kaniyang hita. Hinampas hampas ko siya to be freed, but he just held my hands firmly. Marahas akong napabuga ng hangin para mapunta sa kabilang side ang buhok kong tumatakip sa aking mukha.
"We're okay. A few days ago. Tell me what happened. Bakit ka galit ngayon?" May pag-iingat sa mahinahong boses na kaniyang gamit habang ako'y tinatanong, pero hindi pa rin naman nagbabago ang dilim sa mukha nito.
In the first place, we weren't fine! These... What's happening between me and him isn't supposed to feel okay!
"I'll tell you only if you let me go." Kita ko ang pag-iling niya dahil nakakandung ako paharap rito. Bwisit talaga! Isang kamay lang gamit niya na panghawak sa dalawa kong kamay, at ang isa ay nakasuporta sa aking likod. Huminahon ako saglit baka bigla ko itong duraan.
He licked his lips. Napansin kong kanina pa siya nakatitig sa aking mukha particular to my lips. Umakyat ang tingin sa aking ilong hanggang nagkatitigan na. He doesn't look forty-plus at all because he seems to be in his mid-thirties. "I want to know, baby. Can you at least tell me what's on your mind now?" Kinabig ako palapit, kaya halos nawala ang hangin sa aming pagitan.
I tried my best to maintain my glare at him. Though it's useless because I'm starting to melt for some reason, I just want to stay quiet for a while.
Instead of answering him, I closed my eyes and let myself be submerged in his body. Humilig nalang ako upang humupa ang galit na nanaig sa aking katawan. I want to scratch him, hurt him, or destroy this fucking car! I think he knows what's happening to me. Mahigpit parin niyang hawak ang kamay ko.
Before he left me in the mansion, we went to a clinic. A man with a beard in a white lab coat prescribed me a new medicine. Ito ang ginagamit ko sa nakalipas na araw, sinusumpong ulit ako, pero it got lessened when I started consuming it. Nako-kontrol ko na, unlike before.
It should be taken two times a day, but since I want to see if it really helps me or not, I didn't take my meds this afternoon, which is why I cannot almost control my emotions now. Sinusubukan kong maging independent without taking any meds or injections, but no matter what I do, I always find myself needing those.
Ayaw ko na sa gamot. I hate being injected; I hate everything! Idagdag pa ang kinagagalit ko sa mga sinasabi ni Lola when I got home. I'm super fed up with this life of mine!
