Marahan kong hinubad ang aking mga damit pagkatapos ay tumitig sa sariling katawan mula sa repleksyon ng malaking salamin na nandito sa banyo. I opened the phone with my fingerprint, scrolled down to find the gallery, and there were a lot of my naked pictures that I probably took for the past two months.
I was so skinny from the very first photo; others have bruises on my arms, dark circles, and eye bags under my eyes, and a picture of mine shows me bawling out my eyes. It seems like a timeline of how I felt during those days.
What caught my attention the most were the titles of each folder. Starvation, Agony, Lack of sleep, Rage, and Torture. Before I clicked the folder of torture, I prepared myself to see horrifying photos, but there are none; it's just a full folder of pictures in which I'm half naked, my face is angled perfectly to the camera as my eyes are staring blankly, and my pupils are dilated.
A lifeless stare of a human who has lost her soul for an inconclusive reason. That's what I'm going to say If I were asked to describe what I think of it by just scanning.
Nilapag ko sa gilid ng lababo ang aking phone. Maybe It was me and not me at the same time. Tumagilid ako upang makita ang marka ng mga karayom sa itaas ng aking braso. It left small, permanent scars, and I knew that it had a big impact on me.
In the sink, I had a vial glass with blueish liquid content that I was prescribed to inject on myself, and in the plastic bottle were tablets of mood stabilizer that I needed to intake in order to stay neutral in my emotions.
Tinititigan ko lamang naghihintay sa himala upang matukoy, alin ba riyan sa dalawa ang tunay na depektibo? Kahit nasubok ko na ang mga tableta nananatili parin akong naghihinala.
Bumukas ang pinto kaya nilingon ko si Martin.
"Kanina pa ako kumakatok pero hindi ka sumasagot, so I have no other choice but to open the door with my spare key," said a concerned voice from Martin.
I heard him knocking but ignored it, thinking that he would go away after three knocks without my response.
He frowned when I didn't say anything, and his eyes went down for a while before staring back at me in the eyes. I was not shy about being this close to him and not wearing anything at all.
He should be ashamed of checking me out in such a serious situation. Was it serious, Arsinoe?
"Which one of these two should I take?" Tinuro ko ang dalawang gamot, the vial glass from my grandparents or the tablets we got from the clinic. May gusto akong patunayan sa pamamagitan ng pagpili niya.
Mula sa pag-aalala ay naging seryoso na itong nakatingin sakin ngayon. "Why do you still have it?" Pertaining to vial glass. Kinuha niya at mabilis na tinapon sa trash bin, not knowing that I had already suctioned a good amount of liquids in the syringe I am hiding from my back.
"Take the tablets instead-Goddamn it, Arsinoe!" Pag-angat niya kasi ng tingin ay saktong naubos na ang laman ng hiringgilya na tinurok ko sa aking braso. He knows something, yet he doesn't want to disclose it to me.
Galit at hindi makapaniwala ang nakarehistrong reaksyon mula sa gobernador.
Ngumiti ako sa kaniya matapos basta na lamang bitawan ang ginamit kong syringe. He shut his eyes firmly when I cupped his face with my cold palms.
"Ты понял, что облажался, когда переспал со мной. Сейчас я трезв, но не так уж много времени потребуется, чтобы почувствовать себя равнодушным к содержимому этого флакона. Я прав, Мартин? Я знаю, что ты скрывал от меня, чтобы мы могли продолжить наш роман." I whispered softly, almost like a whisper from the wind.
