sad, beautiful, tragic // j.r.b

thirteen

Cue me saying again: 'I don't know how much I like this one.' 🙃

TW: This chapter contains depictions of injuries.

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It took some convincing... it took a lot of convincing, probably more convincing than I had to do for anyone to take care of themselves before. But after a while Hazel finally agreed to stay home the next day after I agreed to visit her professors and turn in her assignments for her, anxiety then getting me to beg Lucy to come with me. Nothing was going to stop her from having to get up and make the phone call to her parents that she needed to take a break from rehearsal that day though. Which was a conversation I wasn't looking forward to overhearing at all.

"Yes, I get it, it's the start of the season, I know it's bad but my wrist doesn't usually hurt that much whenever I wake up and-" I heard a pause from her voice as it carried into the bedroom, like she was being cut off. "I know musicians play through the pain, mom. But this is- this is different. Why wasn't the bruise enough?"

Angrily I yanked at the strings on my Doc Martens as I tied them to my feet, trying not to intervene though with each pleading statement she made I could feel my blood boiling. "I'm sorry I just- it's a lot and I'm sorry."

I shoved myself up to my feet, releasing an angry huff as I made my way into the living room, hands clenched into fists beside me as she stayed pressed against the counter. Her hair hanging in a loose ponytail behind her as her arms stayed wrapped around her body, like she was trying to comfort herself in some way. "Okay, I promise." She spoke to her mother on the other end, someone who I already didn't like to an extremely high degree. Nearly making her daughter cry first thing in the morning whenever she had already been through enough. And I didn't even wanna think about what she promised either.

As she hung up the phone I wordlessly approached her, letting the sounds of my boots on the floor mark my arrival before I slipped my arms around her and delicately pulled her in. I heard a small whimper from her end as she returned the embrace, hiding her face in my shoulder like she always did, and I only held her tighter. "I'm so tired, J."

"I know, baby." I whispered before laying my lips against the top of her head, burying my face into her hair as I let her lean most of her body weight on me. And I would've stayed there all day if I had to. "Just lay back down and go back to sleep, okay? I know you need it."

She let out another muffled sob into my shoulder before inching away, though I could still feel her hands gripping my arms. "Stay with me, please-"

"Hazel, I really want to, you know I do but-" I hated the way she whimpered, the way it pierced at my heart as she latched onto my shoulders like I was the only thing she had left to hold onto. And for a second I wondered if I was.

"Please, I know it sounds pathetic, I-I know but-" I only shook my head in a disagreement to her words. Had it have been me instead I would've been doing infinitely more than just asking her to stay with me. I would've asked her to get in the car and run away with me. Start a new life. Block out every last person in the world besides our best friends and just go from there, hoping for the best. "I just don't wanna be alone."

I almost winced at the familiarity behind her words, the times I had cried to Lucy and Phoebe amongst other people on the phone and begged them not to leave. Begged them to come get me, to pull me out of whatever pit I had dug myself into this time. And I knew in that moment I couldn't leave her. "Fuck it." I sighed with a shake of my head that turned into a nod. "Okay, let me talk to Luc and Phoebe about talking to our professors first and then I'll be right back."

I could see the way she sighed in relief and she matched my nod, giving my shoulders the smallest squeeze before she let herself speak again. "Thank you. Thank you, thank you, thank you."