~some things you just can't speak about.~
//
hazel eloise finley's old english and frankly quite pretentious name was never released to public whenever she survived the shooting at her high school. not even after the paramedics took her away with a...
I know you're probably getting tired of hearing this but I feel like this is pure trash 😅 I was really reaching a block whenever I was writing this but I knew I wanted to have one of the characters hit crisis mode and- this is what happened. Sorry if it's bad :(
TW: This chapter contains graphic depictions of severe depression, anxiety and just mental illness in general. This chapter also contains brief discussions of self harm, eating disorders, and abuse. This one is a heavy one so please take care of yourselves and skip if you need to! 🩵
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I felt like the equivalent of a zookeeper extending food towards an angry animal whenever I returned to Hazel's dorm that evening. A bag of Thai (again) tucked underneath one arm and an infinitely too large Pokemon squishmallow of a dragon underneath the other. The metaphorical olive branch as I anxiously crept into the room. "Hazel? Baby?" I echoed before my eyes landed on the moving lump of blankets sprawled out on the couch, rising up and down with little breaths.
"I'm still alive, don't worry." She finally voiced as she peeked out from the mound, already her expression softening at the contents of my arms. "Is that..."
"Dragonite? I think? Phoebe helped me search a few Targets to find him." My cheeks flushed as I watched her toss the blankets back and practically fly my way. "I- I feel like I haven't been the best girlfriend today so I- I wanted to make it up to you." I still blushed like a teenage boy every time she wrapped her arms around me, squishing the stuffed animal between us both as I slid the bag of food on the counter.
"So that's why you were gone a while?" She added, feeling one of her arms wrapping around the stuffed animal as she peered at me with flushed cheeks.
"He was surprisingly difficult to find." I chuckled softly before I could feel her head nuzzling into my neck. The sweetest feeling possible and I didn't feel like I deserved one bit of it. "I- I really am sorry, Hazel."
"You were triggered, you snapped... it's okay." She whispered into my shoulder, gently feeling the moisture of a few tears soaking into my neck as she seemed to only hold me tighter with her one arm, impossibly tighter. I didn't know whether to say something or stay silent, scoop her up into my arms and carry her off to bed so I could hold her until the tears stopped. She decided for me. "Can we go lay down?" She whispered in a quivering voice, pulling back only slightly enough to wipe at her eyes.
"Will you eat first please? Baby, I know that you're hungry, you haven't eaten since this morning." I caught her face in my hand before she could hide it in my shoulder again, gently catching a tear before it could drip down the rest of her face. "Please, I haven't even eaten either so... we can eat together if that makes it easier."
She hesitated, eyes drifting over towards the bag on the counter before she let out a soft sigh and nodded. "Okay, I think I can handle a few bites."
"Good, you sit down and I'll make us some tea too." I spoke with a small smile forming on my lips as I placed a soft kiss to her temple.
