~some things you just can't speak about.~
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hazel eloise finley's old english and frankly quite pretentious name was never released to public whenever she survived the shooting at her high school. not even after the paramedics took her away with a...
First meet the parents chapter!! 🤓 Hope you enjoy!
PSA; I know nothing about Julien's family in real life so I'm just doing my own thing with this! Hope you don't mind! 😬
TW: This chapter contains graphic depictions of anxiety and physical symptoms of it and discussions of trauma.
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Throughout the rest of the week I had thoroughly convinced myself it wasn't okay. I didn't want Julien to know, trying to hide a vast majority of the doomsday anxiety that I felt hovered over me like a black cloud as I dragged through my classes and shifts at the front desk. Even if she said she didn't mind the pressure I didn't want her to know how high the stakes could get, especially whenever my mom held most of the control if things between the two of us didn't work out. I didn't want her to think I had so little hope in us either, because I didn't. But every worst case scenario felt like ghosts, looming around every corner and hallway. Slowly sucking out every inch of health I thought I had left in me.
By the time it hit Friday morning, before the sun had even rose and most people were asleep or had already declared they were pulling all nighters I was emptying most of the contents of my stomach into the toilet. My knees aching as they dug into the cold tile of the bathroom floor, making me shiver from the chills. Julien was up in a flash almost as soon as she heard the crashing sound of my body skidding on the bathroom floor, whipping back my long hair that felt coated in sweat.
"Shhh... just let it out." She whispered, a gentle hand rubbing my back as the bile burned my throat and spilled into the porcelain bowl. Already most of what I had eaten today was long empty, now it only tasted like painful stomach acid and dry heaves that only morphed into coughs and gasps for air whenever I couldn't get enough. The only thing that felt like it was centering me was her hand on my back, whispering soothing words with that gentle voice of hers. "Breathe... you're okay, baby girl, just breathe." She spoke once the heaves and coughs finally felt like they had stopped, my hand clutched to my chest almost as if I was clawing for air.
I felt her hand gently pressing to my forehead causing me to almost whimper as she pulled me in slightly closer. My back pressed to her muscular torso as my eyes fluttered, stars dancing across my vision. Every ounce of strength in me felt like it had disappeared, and I was a rag doll laying in her arms. "Baby, you're burning up, do you have a thermometer somewhere?"
I nodded with a sniffle, squeezing my eyes shut as the shame of my episode set in. I nudged the bottom cabinets of the sink with my foot, wincing slightly as I felt her strong arms sliding around me. "Okay, I'm gonna go get you some water, do you feel comfortable with me moving you back to bed?" I nodded again, still feeling like my voice was only going to struggle if I tried to talk right now.
She swept me up effortlessly, despite the fact it felt like my body was made out of lead. My bones feeling like they were rattling from the chills as she placed me back on the mattress, propping me up with the oversized squishmallows before she dashed out of the room to grab a water bottle that I dutifully swallowed down like I was dying of thirst. "Here." I faintly heard her whispering as she pressed a total of three pills into my palm, my eyes flying open with a start as I noticed the long white bar that I held in my shaking palm.
