More than friends

Chapter 19

BRIE

The drive back to Kade's was silent and tense. Neither of us has said a word. My eyes stayed on the window, watching the world go by while my body went numb.

Numb was the way to describe what I was feeling. Every detail went on from outside Kade's parents' house moments ago to being placed in the car by Kade. I felt my legs give out. I had to lean against Kade for support, or I would have landed on the floor.

My mother's words echoed while I tried to understand what happened. "Well, that's because you are not my daughter," she said. It was the way she looked at me. Her eyes were pure hatred for me. "You will never be my daughter," she said. "Because you were never mine to begin with."

My mind swirled over every possibility of the meaning. It was all over the place. How could I not be her daughter? How could it be?

It makes sense now with how she acted toward me. She chose Larissa over me because she was her daughter, and I wasn't. I was someone else's child, but did that mean my father wasn't my father either? Nothing made sense. My father never acted like she did. He was the one who was there most of the time. Was he compensating, or was it something else?

My head banged more while more tears escaped and more questions echoed in my head. I was slowly giving myself a migraine. My eyes stayed on the window, and soon, I realized we were nearly back at Kade's house.

I felt movement beside me, which made me realize Kade was still with me. He hadn't said a single word, and knowing him, he was letting me process what had happened. He used to when we were kids. I could feel his eyes on me occasionally, but I couldn't bring myself to look at him.

I didn't want him to ask how I was feeling. In all honesty, I couldn't tell him—except numb and in pain from my mother's words.

Kade drove closer and stopped just outside his house. He switched off the engine while my eyes went to the house.

Kade moved in his seat, which made me look at his reflection in the window. Placing my hand on the door handle to open it, I could tell his eyes were on me, but there was no chance in hell I would talk to him. I needed space. Hell, I needed to lay down and forget today.

Kade cleared his throat, which made me close my eyes. "Brie—" he said, which made my eyes fly open, and opened the car door. More tears spilled as I stepped from his truck. I closed the door and headed toward the house without looking back at him.

After a few seconds, I heard a door open and close, with footsteps running behind me.

Keeping my eyes forward, I felt Kade's presence behind me when I stopped outside the front door.

Kade said nothing while he placed the key in the door and turned it. Once the door was open, I walked in and headed toward the bedroom.

"Brie," Kade called out, but I ignored him.

I needed to be on my own.

Walking toward the bedroom, I opened the door and closed it with my foot. I stood and looked around. More tears ushered down my cheeks.

There were so many questions, but I was overthinking every possibility of what it could all mean. I shook my head and glanced at the window with some daylight coming through. Where I stood, I was in the shade. I stepped closer, only for my head to throb slightly.

Moving my hands up, I closed the blinds, which made the room darker and stepped back, but I didn't stop until my legs hit something, which made me lose my balance. I fell slightly back until I landed on the floor. I landed with a thud, but I didn't care. I didn't even hurt.

Pulling my legs up to my chest, I felt my chest go tight.

Movement outside the door made me look over, but my heart broke more. I knew it was Kade. I knew he wanted to come here, but I couldn't face him.

More tears came, but my chest wanted to explode, and all I wanted to do was cry.

Letting everything that I held back over the years come back from every little thing that the woman who I called my mother said and did to me, which affected me to my core. Letting out a loud sob, my heart broke more.

There was nothing worse in the world than knowing that someone who was supposed to love you unconditionally wasn't the woman he gave birth to you but also held more hatred toward me. It was clear as day on her face when she said those words to me.

You could tell she had wanted to tell me for years but never did, which was the one thing that puzzled me more. She had ample opportunities to say such things, especially when we argued over the years.

But on the day that was meant to be my sister's wedding, of all things, the mere thought of Larissa sent me into another complete meltdown.

More tears came while my mind wondered if she knew.

Who knew?

My head throbbed more, which made it hard even to keep my eyes open—moving slightly, looking behind me to see where I had landed—close to the bed. I slowly move up, using the bed for support. I sit on the edge for a moment but close my eyes.

I needed to stop thinking for a while.

Moving back slowly, I laid down and pulled up my legs as close as I could to my chest. My eyes opened, and more tears came.

There was nothing I wanted more than answers, but all I wanted to do was let my emotions out. I was never one for crying. I would get up and walk it off, or even, as my mother said, run away, which was what I was good at. I didn't care right now. All I wanted was to feel something, but all there was pain.

So much pain.

Why would she say something like that to me?

But there was one question I wanted to know more than anything. Was it true?

Wasn't she my mother? But then another question came to mind: if she wasn't my mother, who was my mother?

The more I thought, the more I cried.

After what felt like hours, I felt my eyes get really heavy until my eyes closed, and I was sent into darkness, where there was nothing but me alone.