Fire Meets Ice

Chapter 14: Unforgettable Pain

Whereas Alexa left the plaza earlier than others, Marcus stood awkwardly in silence for a few seconds until he hurried towards Oscar and Anya while they were still dancing together. Unaware of Alexa's departure, they had a look of confusion when Marcus interrupted them.

"What? Alexa isn't here anymore, Marcus?" Anya asked, now worried.  

"I don't know where she went," Marcus replied, glancing around as if expecting to see her reappear at any moment. "I got back from the bathroom, and poof... she's gone."

"That's strange, bro," Oscar chimed in, his expression shifting from surprise to concern. "Should we try calling her?"

Meanwhile, in the back seat of a taxi, Alexa battled a tempest of emotions. Sadness, despair, and a heavy sense of melancholy churned within her as the city lights blurred past the window. Just then, her phone buzzed insistently in her pocket. It was Anya, trying to reach her. 

The taxi driver glanced back at her. "Aren't you gonna pick that up?" he asked, breaking the silence in the car.

Alexa shook her head, her voice steady but weary. "Nah, it's not an important call..."

20 minutes later, she arrived at her apartment. Marcus, Anya, and Oscar continued to call her but she refused to answer. She also ignored their texts. She undressed herself and untied her bun to take a hot shower. While in the shower, she sat down inside the stall with tears flowing down her cheeks and her makeup washing away from her face. Seeing Anya and Oscar in a loving, genuine relationship was too overwhelming for her heart to handle. She was once again reminded of what she had been missing out on her entire life. All her life, she was used and abused. Raised by strict parents, surrounded by a fake circle of friends, getting betrayed in the worst way, and never having normal, sane guys approached her. Friendship betrayals meant nothing to her as she always moved on too fast, but not from betrayal in love.

I want those negative thoughts to go away... she thought, frustration mingling with sorrow. I'm so tired of people giving me false hope.

I was never enough. Never good enough, never smart enough, never useful enough, never what others wanted me to be, she lamented silently, a familiar refrain that echoed in her mind.

I'm tired of giving so much while getting nothing in return. I'm tired of being that damsel in distress, she mused, the weight of her isolation pressing down on her.

All she longed for was love and acceptance, yet it felt like an unattainable dream. After years of self-improvement, the loneliness still clung to her like a shadow, reminding her of its presence at every turn.

She spent 3 hours sobbing in the shower while sitting with her arms wrapped around her knees. Her phone continued to ring while it sat on her nightstand in her room. When she came out, she barely dried her hair and she couldn't stop crying. She couldn't pick up her phone and tell anyone how she's feeling or why she left. She didn't want to be a burden to anyone.

I want to pick it up, but I can't. I don't want to explain myself... she thought, the weight of her silence pressing heavily upon her heart. At least not now. I don't want anyone to cry with me.

Messages from her phone beeped from Anya. The messages said, "Are you okay, Alexa?", "Please say something. I'm very, very worried about you.", and "Let's talk it out. I wanna know why you left so early". Alexa wouldn't budge. She chose to ignore everyone completely. Whenever she's sad or gloomy, she doesn't want anyone to get close or bother her. Showing her vulnerability and true feelings have always been her weakness.

What's the point of telling them? Even if I do, they probably wouldn't understand... she thought bitterly. 

They never will. No one will know how I feel because all they ever say is, "Surround yourself with positive people. Don't think about it."