Hate to Love you.

My fault. - Leyden.

No fucking way Aurelia said that. There's no way it was my fault. She was just being a bitch. I haven't gone in Livy's room since the morning before the incident, but I miss her, so I just want to lay on her bed. I walk upstairs and pass my bedroom door; I take a deep breath before I turn the doorknob. As the door opens slowly my attention draws to the floor where there is dried blood in the carpet, and my heart sinks. I walk into her room and them smell of the perfume she uses everyday fills my nose. It smells florally at first, but then the smell of peach, rose and some other fruity scent overrides the florals.

"Shit." I say to myself out loud as I shut the door behind me, so I don't let her scent out. I just look at her perfectly clean room, minus the blood. Then, something catches my eye. A piece of paper sitting on her pink comforter. I grab the paper and its thick, it has 5 pages, filled out from front to back on each one. I take a seat before I read the top part of the paper 'If you're reading this, then I'm dead.' Chills went down my spine. I immediately knew what this was, and my vision got blurry as tears quickly formed in my eyes.

I've been here for an hour, re-reading this note over and over. My heart is shattered into pieces. it really is my fault. I can't believe she thought I hated her. My own twin sister thought I hated her. Fuck. I'm a fucked-up person. But how did Aurelia know it was my fault? Did she know what Liv was planning on doing? All I can see is red. Before I know it I'm putting my shoes on and stomping my way downstairs and across the street. I notice her car is the only one in the driveway, luckily because I may actually kill her. I get up to the door and I pound on it like an officer would. I wait a few second before pounding on it again. Just before I was going to knock again the door creaked open and Aurelia stared at me. Her eyes were red and puffy but I could give a fuck less right now and I invite myself in. 

"What the fuck are you doing here Leyden." She asked angerly as she shut the door behind me.

"You knew." I let out.

"Knew what Leyden?" She shot back, wiping her face. 

"YOU KNEW LIVY WAS GOING TO KILL HERSELF AND YOU DIDNT SAY ANYTHING." I screamed at her. 

"WHAT!" She yelled back at me. 

"I FOUND A NOTE IN HER ROOM AND IT SAID SHE THOUGHT I HATED HER, AND YOU TOLD ME THAT'S WHAT LIVY SAID." I screamed at her.

"WHY THE FUCK WOULD I KEEP IT A SECRET IF I KNEW SHE WAS GOING TO KILL HERSELF LEYDEN. I LOVE LIVY MORE THAN I LOVE MYSELF." She screams at me through the top of her lungs. I didn't buy her act. 

"COME ON AURELIA. 'BEST FREINDS KEEP SECRETS'." I yell, using air quotes.

"WHY WOULD I KEEP THIS A SECRET LEYDEN. I LOVE LIV WITH EVERYTHING IN ME." She screams at me while her voice breaks. 

"YOU KNOW HER THE BEST. SHE HAD TO HAVE TOLD YOU. AND YOU WANTED TO HONNOR HER BY KEEPING THIS A SECRET." I screamed, pointing my finger at her. 

"FOR FUCKS SAKE LEYDEN I DIDNT KNOW, AND IF I DID, I WOULD HAVE CALLED THE POLICE." She screamed at me. 

"BULLSHIT." I screamed back at her. They always kept secrets, even if it was beneficial if an adult knew.

"You know what, believe what you want Leyden. I just want you to know I wish it was me that night. I know you would be happy with that." She tells me, with a cold tone to her voice.

"I wish that was you too." I shoot back at her. Her eyes go red, and fill with tears. 

"Get the fuck out of here Leyden." Her voice shakes. I turn around and just walk out the door. Just before I walk out the door, I turn around and I see Aurelia on her knees with her hands to her eyes, sobbing. Did I go too far? 

I'm left, sitting in my room replaying the arguments I had today. I really don't know if she was telling me the truth.  When they were fourteen, Liv and Aurelia snuck out of the house at a sleepover and Aurelia broke her foot, but they were too scared about the consciences, so she walked on a broken foot for 2 days before Liv finally told my mom. Another time, something similar happened, but it was Livy who broke her knee, but it was only for 12 hours before Aurelia told her mom. Soon she will feel guilty and tell her mom.

Before I realized it, my phone was screaming. Back to school. I quickly get ready and Put on a white t-shirt, black cargos and converse before running downstairs to grab a yogurt.  I grab my backpack and keys and walk out the door. Aurelias car is still in the driveway. we usually leave at the same time, but she may be avoiding me. I could care less because I really don't want to see her either.  I got to school and met with Rowan. 

"Hey Ley!" He said from behind me, walking up and placing his hand on my shoulder.

"I'm good, yesterday was fun!" I'm only half lying. It was all fun until I had to ride with Aurelia.

"Good, because Esme wants to plan another hangout since we got along so well. She also suggested us all sitting together at lunch!" Rowan explained to me. He looks so happy; I can't tell him about what happened last night with me and Aurelia.

"oh- uh sure!" I reply with a nervous laugh, but before he could question my laughter, the bell rang, and we both started walking to class.

I arrive to class just before the bell rings and I take my seat. A few minutes into the lesson I got bored, so I looked around the class and I noticed Aurelia wasn't in her seat. She's never absent. i focus back on the lesson, ignoring everything else on my mind. 

A few hours pass and its lunch now. I find Rowan and he guides me to our new lunch table and the seat across from me is empty. 

"Wait, where's Aurelia?" Rowan asks, just as confused as me. 

"I don't know, she texted me last night saying she didn't feel good... I'm guessing she's sick." Esme responds. Did she really miss school to avoid me? 

"What time did she text you that?" I ask, now curious. 

"5:29, why?" She replies, with a concerned look on her face. I bet I seem suspicious.

"I don't know, she said her stomach was starting to hurt when we driving back." I lie.

"How about we make plans for Saturday!"  Rowan suggests. 

"Yes! let's make a Group chat! Ill add Aurelia!" Esme chimes in. Great.