authors note- HAPPY 2024 (i have covid and want to die, but hey at least I get an extended winter break!!!) IM SORRY FOR NO UPDATE EVEN THO NOBODY READS THIS ITS OKAY!! IM TRYING TO JUGGLE HW, SOCIAL LIFE, MENTAL HEALTH AND EVERYTHING IN BETWEEN AND I DEF NEED TO GET BETTER AT UPDATING, ILL WORK ON IT
tw for mentions of sh in this chapter.
I can't sleep. I know i told her it was okay, but she made my sister start cutting herself, well she didn't force her but that's where it all started from? I shouldn't be mad at Relia, but I can't help it My sister wouldn't have started self-harming if it weren't for her. But Relia was hurting and didn't tell anyone but my sister, my twin didn't tell me Aurelia was cutting herself and she used to tell me everything. I don't know how to feel, I'm sleeping in the same bed as the person who taught my sister what self-harm was.
I turn over in Aurelias king-sized bed and look at her- she's dead asleep. I know I really shouldn't be upset with her, I am. I quietly and slowly get out of her bed and make my way to the door and head back to their guest room. I climb into the bed, letting out a deep, shaky breath.
"Fuck." I say to myself quietly collecting my thoughts. I decide I just need to sleep away my thoughts before my anxiety gets the best of me.
I hear my alarm going off. I'm so tired. I squeeze my eyes shut before I sit up, opening my eyes tiredly. I do a quick stretch before I stand up, unplug my phone and put in my airpods then head to go use the bathroom and brush my teeth. after using the bathroom, I head to my little backpack and grab black cargos, a plain white t-shirt and a dark green zip-up. I hear a quiet knock on my door, so I take out one airpod.
"Leyden honey, are you up and ready for school?" I hear vanessa say in a quiet voice.
"I have a bagel and scrambled eggs downstairs if you want em'. " She adds.
"I'll be down in a minute, thanks Mrs. Summers." I reply putting my airpod back in. I grab my backpack and head down their stairs to see Aurelia sitting at the island on her phone. I'm not mad, but I'm also not not mad. I don't know. I sit two chairs away from her and she glares at me then turns away. We eat in silence, get up at the same time to put on our converse and head out the door. she grabs her keys, but I stop her.
"I can drive." I tell her.
"K. take my car." she says, handing me her keys then opening the front door and walking past me. Why is she so pissed? I shake my head then continue to her car then adjust the seat and all the mirrors. The ride is silent. I look over at her and she's wearing black flared jeans, a white shirt with lace and a bow at the top and a black oversized leather jacket.
"Look at the road." she snaps at me.
"Why are YOU pissed?" I snap back at her.
"You left me last night when I needed someone the most, Leyden. If you didn't want to sleep in my room you should've just said no. I woke up at 3:00 from a nightmare and I got fucking scared because I saw you were gone." she explains, taking a deep breath.
"Now why are YOU pissed then since you're obviously upset." she says in a quiet voice.
"I'm not pissed. I just- don't know. I just am confused about this whole situation." I blurt out as we pull into the school parking lot.
"You're mad because I started your sisters self-harm addiction. Its my fault huh? I've always felt that way too, I really shouldn't have told you anything Leyden. Maybe next time knock before you walk." She said with her voice breaking before quickly grabbing her backpack and coffee and getting out of the car, walking quickly into the school.
I sat there, rethinking her words before I slowly got out of the car and walked into school. I've been extremely anxious since I saw Aurelia like that last night, I really don't want to talk to anyone today.
"Yo Ley!" Row said, standing Infront of my locker but I just walked past him, pretending I didn't hear him. I go all though school, thinking about what Aurelia said. I really felt like an ass for even thinking it was her fault, if Livy didn't find it out from Relia, she would've found out about it eventually and it would've been the same outcome- except she wouldn't have had a friend by her side to help her and comfort her.
The school bell rings, and I rush to Relias car really desperate to talk to her.
"Hey..." I say the moment she sits down. she doesn't respond but she's looking at me.
"Look, about this morning-" i start to say before she interrupts me.
"I don't want to talk about it. Please just drive." she says, buckling her seatbelt.
"Well, I want to talk about it because I was so wrong about everything. It was wrong for the thought of it being your fault to even cross my mind, because no matter what if she wanted to self-harm, she was going to do it anyways, but she would've been alone in it and what happened a few weeks ago probably would've happened sooner. Obviously, it would've been better if none of you guys did it, but you had each other and helped each other through your rough times." I say, looking at Aurelia.
"Thank you, Ley." she says quietly before looking out her window.
I finally start driving back, but another thought comes to mind.
"I'm sorry for not knocking last night and I'll knock from now on, but I'm glad I didn't knock last night though." I tell her, glancing at her before turning my eyes back to the road.
"Don't ever mention last night again, ever. I mean it Ley, I'll kill you. But thank you for helping me." she replies.
"Last night? what do you mean? dinner?" I tease.
"I'm rolling my eyes right now, by the way." she replies. I let out a small chuckle before we reach her driveway.
We walk into her house, and I go upstairs immediately to the guest room and Aurelia flops on the couch. today was a rollercoaster. I lock the door, then get changed into sweats and a compression shirt. I lie down, scrolling on my phone for a while before heading downstairs to grab a snack.
"Twin!" Relia says out loud as I approach the kitchen. I look at her and she's wearing baggy grey sweats and a baggy black hoodie.
"You copied me!" I say, pointing at her.
"Nahhh you just wanna be me so bad" she replies, rolling her eyes then going to get some food. I don't reply, I just open the fridge and grab some grapes before taking a seat at the kitchen island.
"Dude I'm so excited for winter break!" Relia says out of the blue.
"Why are you excited? do you have plans?" I ask curiously.
"Well- no... but definitely having a sleepover with Esme and Row!" she says excitedly.
"It's still a few weeks away Rel, don't get too excited." I tell her.
"Rel? cute nickname!!" She says, mocking me in a way.
"Fine, you don't like it? I'll call you relish." I tell her.
"How the FUCK did you get relish from 'Aurelia'?" she asks, laughing slightly.
"Aurelia to Relia and you know the first four letters in relish? R-E-L- and I" I answer, trying my best not to laugh.
"You call me that again and you're waking up with no eyebrows." she threatens.
"Yeah, okay Relish." I reply, teasing her.
"you'll see...Lady gaga. " She shoots back at me, starting to walk towards the stairs.
"Jokes on you, I'm googoo for gaga." I tease. I see her face go all red and she just rolls her eyes and runs upstairs. She got so flustered it was so funny.
YOU ARE READING
Hate to Love you.
RomanceLeyden and Aurelia are known enemies and have been since the 6th grade, that is until their best friends become friends and they are forced to somewhat like each other. That doesn't go too well because of their remarks, arguments, and bickering. "Yo...
