A dayli day in Fontaine

2nd page : "The Neuvillette anecdote"

Dear diary,

Another hard day of work is ending... Before I became a trainee in the court's prisons, I never thought that doing almost nothing all day long would be so tiring...

When I got back home, I instantely took my diary and reread what I wrote last night. I don't know why I did that, it felt like a need I guess...

And if you were expecting me to say that I recognize I was in a pretty bad mood, than no. Be desapointed, because it's my constant mindset, especially at work when my mom isn't there to tell me her incredible adventures of the day. So many unbelivable things always happen to her... What an egocentric woman, can she not share a little with me ? She really is a selfish human being.

...It's a joke. Mom if you read this, don't kill me please. And if you read that because I died, don't burn my body casting a spell on it...

Anyway, I was about to say that when I reread the part where I talk about Neuvillette being a tired mess with his coffee, it reminded me of something...

One day, I was at work as usual, and since it was time for my break, i was trying to find where I put my glasses so I can read a little. Then suddendly, I heard a noise coming from the kitchen. At first, I thought it was my coworker Édouard who still don't know how to use the microwave after a year here that broke once again said microwave. I went to see the disaster, but instead of Édouard's bald head, I saw Neuvillette, just standing there. It took me more than 10 seconds to realise that the noise came from the bathroom, not the microwave... I didn't know until that day that not only did Édouard broke the microwave often in a literal way, but he also metaphorically broke the toilets more than one time, by the said of Rosie.

Neuvillette and I judged him SO MUCH when he got out of the bathroom... anyway, I asked Neuvillette what he was doing here, he told me that he had a break too, and the conversation went like this :

Me : Who said it's break time for me ?

Neuvillette : Then you are sneaking off of your post ?

Me : Absolutely not, but who told you it was my break hour ? You're not supposed to know this. (I said that as a joke, of course)

Neuvillette : I know everything as the chef Justice of the court. (His response kinda scared me...)

Me : Okay... By the way, I always see you drinking coffee, you know that water is a thing too ? We are litteraly in a nation dominated by the hydro element, but I bet your never got a taste of it. Are you even composed of the 70% of water that are supposed to form most of human beings ?

Neuvillette : Actually, it's more for me. I have 90% of water in my body.

Me : How so ?! Oh yeah, I forgot you were not an actual human being... At least now I understand why you only drink this tastless liquid.

Neuvillette : And what are your guesses ?

Me : It's because you're almost making an overdose of water already, so if you drink more of it, you'll explode or something like that.

Neuvillette : Wrong. Take another guess next time.

Me : Very well ! Wait, before you go, is your coffee tasting good ?

Neuvillette : I find it delicious, even if you don't share the same opinion.

Me : No, that's fine. I guess it's a good thing if it tastes better than how it looks. Because when I see it like this in your cup, it just make me think of the poop Édouard dropped on the toilets just now. Hope it also smells well.

And I remember perfectly how disgusted and horrified he looked when I said that ! Coffee here in the prison's kitchen isn't of high quality, so he may have seen the similarities too...

Oh, and I saw him ! He was about to take a sip of it, but after what I said, he just gave up and walked away. I bet he didn't touch his drink afterwards !

This was so fun, I think it's the most entertaining chat I ever had in work until now. When I bumped into him the next day, he already took his coffee somewhere else... He needed a whole week to get over it and reuse the coffee machine in the kitchen. Drama queen.