Cat Caught Your Tongue? [BSD oneshot]

. . .

Would Dazai, in the hypothetical situation that he DID own a cat, reveal that to the pm? No, realistically he would not bcus that would be used against him. Am I going to write a oneshot about it anyway? y e s .

(btw, just a little warning, there are two references to the first oneshot of this series! [Link: https://www.wattpad.com/story/344905599-a-fortunate-night-bsd-oneshot] One is noticeable, the other isn't. You can definitely still read this on its own tho so don't worry! Enjoy! <3)

. . .

Everyone immediately noticed the scrawny little thing stalking around the Demon Prodigy the moment Dazai entered the Port Mafia building.

The 'scrawny little thing' being an agile, black cat with luminous, orange eyes. Whenever anyone so much as whispered about Dazai, it pinned its sharp, gleaming gaze on them as if it caught every word. None of the Port Mafia (aside from two very special people along with Dazai himself) had ever seen the cat before and none dared to find out why it was there. Rumors, gossip, and whispers immediately circulated throughout the Mafia like wildfire, but none of them seemed just right. Many suggested that it was just some random cat following Dazai around, but wouldn't he have shot it dead then? So people then started proposing that Dazai just had a soft spot for cats, but that seemed so wildly out of character for the Demon Prodigy that no one gave it much thought. People also briefly brought up the possibility that he simply had not noticed it yet, but everyone knew that was just desperate thinking. This was the Demon Prodigy they were talking about, not some idiot who couldn't even notice a cat walking behind him. Besides, Dazai had been seen glancing at the cat multiple times. He definitely knew it was there, but decided not to acknowledge it for whatever reason.

(Never once did it cross their minds that the Demon Prodigy might have just decided to have a pet. The idea just seemed so ludicrous that it simply was not feasible enough for them to believe.) 

Chuuya, personally, was getting sick of hearing all these stupid tales and assumptions. It was all, 'Dazai this, Dazai that,' and it was such an earsore. He just wanted to get to the bottom of this mystery already, so he decided to do something no one else had the nerve to do: Ask the man himself, Dazai Osamu. Of course, Chuuya wouldn't ask in public. Dazai would just dance around his questions like he always did and eventually lure him into attempting to strangle him. It was Dazai's thing. If Chuuya brought up something Dazai wasn't comfortable speaking about, he'd just piss him off so much he'd be forced to forget in favor of trying to kill Dazai. It annoyed him to no end- just like the man himself- and he didn't want that happening again. There was more of a chance that Dazai would answer his question if no one else was around to hear his answer. So, he waited for the perfect moment to interrogate him, and, low and behold, the perfect moment popped up right after a mission while they were surrounded by corpses. Admittedly, asking about Dazai's maybe-pet after murdering a bunch of people wasn't exactly ideal, but Chuuya knew it would be the best he'd get.

"Dazai," Chuuya began, staring at him determinately with a sharpened gaze.

-A gaze that Dazai did not return. If fact, the idiot wasn't even looking at him. Instead, his eyes were focused on something on the ground. If this was going to be a joke about Chuuya's height ("oh sorry, I expected you to be down there since you're so chibi!") he was actually going to punch the shit out of that suicidal bastard. Chuuya pushed down his intense irritation in favor of curiosity and followed his gaze. He was surprised to see the little black cat he was just about to ask about sitting on the ground patiently as if expecting something from Dazai. Though the cat had followed Dazai all day, it had never actually looked him directly in the eyes until right then. It was honestly a perfect segue into his question.