"In Latin my name, Aurelia, basically means 'the golden one.' My mother literally named me her golden light through the storm that was her life. That is my job. To be everyone's light at the end of the tunnel. And I got stuck worrying so much about...
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Aurelia was crying. And she hated it.
It wasn't loud, full on sobbing (which would have been even more embarrassing), but rather just silent tears streaming down her cheeks as she buried her face in her hands.
Crying wasn't normal. Not for her at least. But she was, and has been, a trainwreck these past few days. Her lack of sleep was starting to get to her mental and emotional sanity.
But it felt good to cry. It wasn't just tears due to the awful day, but rather tears for her whole existence that she had forced back her entire life.
Although, the awful day—the gut-wrenching look on Reyna's face, the absolute hatred her former comrades felt for her, the physical pain of being burned, and the complete lack of energy to do anything, especially use her powers—was definitely the cherry on top of her miserable existence.
For hours, she sat in the mess hall, her head in her hands. She had no idea what was happening upstairs. But she didn't care, she just didn't want anyone to see her.
Finally, someone came downstairs into the mess hall. Two someones.
"Hey, Ari," Annabeth murmured. She sat down on one side of Aurelia while the other side got filled with Piper. "We just wanted to check on you. We're almost there. Leo's keeping the ship together, and Percy and Jason are keeping the ship moving. Do you think you'll be able to come up soon?"
Aurelia hated herself. What was she doing—being this selfish? She wasn't the person who hid herself away out of shame or embarrassment—she never let anyone see her at such a low point.
"No. I think ..." She paused, letting more tears fall. "I just ... I do not think I will come up for a while. I just need to be alone—if that is okay."
Annabeth and Piper shared a look above Aurelia's head.
"You've sacrificed so much to come here," Piper murmured. "Don't think we'll ever forget that. You're part of the reason we were able to escape the Romans."
That made Aurelia want to cry more. She didn't want to refer to them as the Romans. Because she was one of them. Despite everything, she still considered herself one of them. She wanted to be able to return to her home someday. But they couldn't see it that way anymore. She was a traitor. Someone who had turned their back on the legion. Even if they somehow succeed, that may always be true.
"I will come up when I am ready," Aurelia finally decided, lifting her head to look at them. They saw her bloodshot eyes and their emotions toward her made Aurelia want to sob. She didn't want their pity, she just wanted them to leave. "Just do not tell anyone where I am. I just need to be alone. Please."
