Don't Blame Me

Chapter 35. Rolling Hills

Y/N'S POV

Being away from Taylor is honestly killing me a lot more than I thought it would. I mean, I knew being away from her would be difficult, but damn. I feel like I really did leave my other half back in New York. I've been gone for three days out of five and I'm just about ready to sell my soul just to be with her.

She's been very busy with the whole Speak Now release and she actually ended up releasing the album at Midnight last night, but in New York time. She apologized like a billion times that I couldn't be there, but I told her that it was fine. In all honesty, it is. Yes Speak Now is one of my favorites, but if it were Reputation, we would've had a problem.

I really haven't spoken with her in a few days, if we're being totally honest. Everything is okay with us, but our schedules are pretty insane at the moment and her album release is a really big deal. Plus, the 5 hour time difference is certainly not helping. Our conversations have been surprisingly really short. Usually, we can be on the phone for hours if we're away from each other like this. I mean, the last time I was away from her was when we weren't together yet and she was in New York and me in LA. Even then, the shortest conversation we had was like two hours. Now, it's like she calls me when she wakes up and we'd stay on the phone for thirty minutes and then in the evening, I'd call her again before I went to bed so that I could hear all about her day. Even then, that call would be like 20 minutes because she'd go have dinner with Selena or Blake and Ryan. I haven't met them before, but Taylor says I will when I get back. She thinks Blake and I will get along nicely but they do live more upstate, so we wouldn't see them as often as Taylor's besties.

I can't really say how Taylor's taking this distance between us. I would say by the looks of it, she's doing more than fine, but just that thought alone is enough to make me have a meltdown. Honestly, it's impossible to tell how she's doing because we haven't had a real conversation since I left New York. I think if I said she was doing fine or great or even crying every single day, would be inaccurate because we haven't really talked about it. I do miss her a lot and every single part of my mind is occupied by thoughts of her. 

"Um hello? Earth to y/m/n?" Sophie says with a chuckle, snapping my mind back to reality.

"Sorry, what were you saying?" I apologize, looking back up at her. She has an amused expression on her face as she watches me carefully. I wrap my hands around my cup of tea and lean back in my chair to have my attention focused on her. Sophie suggested we went out to get a cup of tea after the photoshoot, but I absentmindedly agreed to it, half paying attention to what she said.

"What's with you? What were you thinking about? I was talking for like ten minutes and you're just staring out the window all depressed like you're Bella Swan or something." She presses further, joking toward the end.

"I um... I just miss Taylor a lot.....that's all." I respond, offering her a small smile.

"I'm sure she misses you too. You'll see each other in a few days. It'll be alright." She smiles warmly at me.

I really do wish she was here. She's probably been here before, I just wish it was with me and not someone else... Would she want to travel together? I think that would be perfect. Honestly, the perfect lifestyle; traveling with Taylor and being there for whatever she needs. Sure, taking pictures of other artists is fun, but I think the ultimate goal in life is to be happy and love the ones who love me. My life has always been non-stop and I do enjoy it for the most part, but now I'm with Taylor and I want to cherish the time I have with her. I think my goals in life are changing and I might need to reevaluate what I really want to do with my career...

"Helloooo?" Sophie laughs, tossing a tea packet at my face, grabbing my attention once again.

 "Sorry! I just keep getting-" I begin to apologize, but she finishes my sentence.