Our Dirty Little Secrets [Revised - GxG]

𝐶ℎ𝑎𝑝𝑡𝑒𝑟 𝑋𝐼

Rihanna Saldivar's POV

I want to say that I woke up to the sound of my alarm. I want to tell myself that I fell asleep, crying all my tears out. Because maybe, just maybe, I wouldn't seem like the helpless fool I am right now.

But I can't. The truth is, I haven't slept at all. I did cry, though. I cried all night, haunted by the memories of everything I've done, realizing how foolish I've been. I let myself fall for the same person twice, only for her to shatter my heart into pieces the second time.

If only I had managed to fall asleep. It would mean that I got so tired the pain finally faded away, leaving nothing but emptiness. I would choose that over this unbearable agony. But I couldn't sleep. I'm still crying, and the pain hasn't left me.

My heart is still in pain.

Pinatay ko ang shower saka pinanood ang pag-agos ng tubig sa sahig patungo sa drain. Umaga na pero mabigat parin ang dibdib ko. Hindi ko alam kung paano to pagagaanin.

I tried drinking. I tried crying. I tried confronting the issue. But after everything I did, the pain just got worse.

Haaahhh...

Pumikit ako saka pinulupot ang tuwalya sa aking katawan at lumabas na ng banyo. Bumungad sa akin ang sala naming walang katao-tao. Dumiretso naman agad ako sa aking kwarto, nagpalit, at saka lumabas na ng bahay.

Hindi ko siya kayang harapin sa ngayon.

Mag-isa kong tinahak ang daan patungong paaralan. I locked myself inside the library and sat on my desk while staring at the unknown. My mind was blank the entire time. Naubos na siguro ang braincells ko sa utak kaya ako nagkakaganito. Bigla na lang akong nagkamuwang nang tawagin ako ni Villareal kaya ako tumingala.

Nakatayo na ito sa harapan ko habang pinagmamasdan ako at nagtataka.

"Pinatawag mo ako?" Pagtatanong nito sa akin. Nagayos naman ako ng upo saka tumango. Binuksan ko ang drawer ng aking mesa saka inilabas ang document na ibinigay sa akin ni Principal kagabi na aking prinint sa bahay. Ibinigay ko iyon sa batang ito saka siya inabutan ng ballpen.

"Pumirma ka riyan sa taas ng pangalan mo tapos makakaalis ka na" aking paguutos.

Hinila nito ang upuan sa gilid saka binasa ang nakapaloob sa papel. Hinayaan ko na lang siya at pinagmasdan lang. Pinanood ko paano lumaki ang mga mata nito saka ibinalin sa akin ang kaniyang atensyon.

"Librarian Convention? Ano 'yun? is that like, a seminar for librarian? Sasama ba ako?" I saw how a smile formed on her lips. Hindi ko 'yun inexpect dahil ang akala ko ay wala ito sa kaniyang interest. Sa isang buwan naming magkasama, hindi ko pa siya nakitang nagbasa ng libro. Ang akala ko ay mag-isa lang akong pupunta.

...I guess I'm not. Hindi lang ako sigurado kung masaya ako o hindi.

Anyway, tumango ako. "Yes, you're on point."

Her smile widen. "Talaga? San?"

"Baguio."

"Wow, sige---"

"Just so you know, it's optional" bigla akong humirit. I don't know why, but I feel like it won't be for the best if we both go together. It's not like I'm planning on something, but she reminds me of her brother...

"Mmmm...okay, sasama parin ako." She said and seems to be determined. Can't I bribe her instead?

I mean, "are you sure? It might affect your academic"

"It won't though. Two days lang naman. So, kelan?" Right...two days. Academic failure? What a lame excuse to make.

...Well then, I guess it's settled.