If Only You Knew

ONE

To my right, Toronto's city lights sparkled in the dark of the night and with each breath I took, I drank in the familiar but foreign atmosphere. After living abroad for so long, returning home felt like stepping into a parallel universe. The buildings, the sounds and the streets were both recognizable and strangely different.

The more I lingered in this feeling, the more memories flashed before my eyes. A vivid one was the first time my friends and I had ventured into the heart of the city, wide-eyed and eager to explore the busiest streets of downtown. I could almost hear the distant echoes of laughter and chatter of my friends in these streets.

- Are you alright?

A soft voice cut through my reverie, bringing me back to the present moment.

- I'm...  fine. Sorry, I got lost in my thoughts.

My eyes lingered on the twinkling lights outside for a second, holding onto the innocence and hopeful dreams I had back then.

- It must be strange to be back, after all this time.

The blond with fine curly hair sitting to my left, nudged me playfully with a grin. From our earliest college days, Chloe had been my closest friend and the rock in my life. We often marveled at the connection we shared, sealed on a drunken night in our most vulnerable state.

Not even six years apart, separated by thousands of miles could have weaken our special bond. Despite the distance, we kept a ritual of hours long phonecalls where our deepest conversations took place. We watched movies, shared meals, and navigated through our toughest crises together from our phones. I honestly owed much of my sanity studying abroad to Chloe's unconditional support.

As she stuffed a stick of olive bread in her mouth, her words echoed in my head. Even if she was my closest friend, there was still some sort of novelty to being in each other's presence. Our relationship had blossomed miles away from each other. It struck me that, in many ways, we were technically learning to be physically around each other at this stage of our friendship.

- It is weird, I confessed, my voice barely above a whisper.
- I bet. I'm still getting used to having you here!
- It's like we've been dating online and just met in real life tonight.
- Yeah... Ugh, what a nightmare.

She agreed, her expression twisting in disgust.

- Well... I thought this date was going well but I guess not, I retorted.

Now in the middle of a sip of wine, Chloe burst into laughter and I couldn't help but join her.

- I didn't mean dating you, Naomi. I meant what a nightmare to date someone online without meeting them in real life. Also, I knew you before so, she raised her glass towards me, this doesn't apply to us.
- Mh-mmh, I sneered.

Her big green eyes rolled to the ceiling as our glasses clinked. While sipping on the rest of my wine, I allowed myself to savor the warmth of this moment. It was a beautiful winter's night and, for the first time on this trip, I felt exactly where I was supposed to be. Whether it was the holiday decorations in the streets or the magic of the Christmas season, I couldn't deny enjoying this moment.

- Can I bring you anything else? Our waiter asked with a smile.
- I'm all set, Nao?
- Same for me, thank you.

The young man nodded before attending to other tables, bringing the chatter of the jam-packed restaurant back to us.  We were dining in one of those trendy boutique restaurants that had blown up because of social media. This particular spot had been the talk of the town for months, and I was shocked we managed to snag a table on the eve of Christmas Eve. Thanks to Chloe's connections in the service industry, she had us first in line when a table became available.