If Only You Knew

ELEVEN

A loud ringtone came from Shawn's phone, making us both look at each other.

- Must be the food, I'll be right back.

I nodded and watched him leave, waiting to hear the front door closing. Once the latch echoed in the condo, I jumped on my phone and dialed Chloe's number. My heart sped up with every unanswered ringtone.

- Well, well, well...

With the sound of her voice, I nervously laughed as if what went down last night became suddenly real.

- Ohmygoshchloe, I blurted out.
- What is it? she said, teasing me by dramatically elongating her words.
- Stop it, I whispered aggressively, he's gonna be back in two seconds.

Chloe bursted into laughter and the comedy in our phonecall tickled me to do the same.

- Just go to the bathroom or something.
- Oh, I straightened up, that's actually a good idea.

I ran across the condo like a cartoon character and stepped into the master bedroom. As I walked across, I manically picked up my clothes and locked myself in the bathroom. With the door closed, I leaned against it sliding to the floor, panting.

- Are you okay? Chloe asked, confused.
- I'm kinda freaking out right now.
- I would too, she honestly confessed.

Hearing Chloe's voice instantly brought some calm within me. This felt similar to the countless times I had called her from London, in an emergency for her to help me sort through some internal struggles.

- Do you want me to come get you? she asked, now concerned.
- No, no. Everything is fine... He's really sweet actually. It's just... So weird, but also, not really. Do you know what I mean?
- Not really, but I can hear that you're going through it.

With a deep breath, my tensed shoulders dropped slowly. I stood back up, staring at my own reflection as the images of the last twelve hours flipped in my mind. I grabbed my pants and slid into them, feeling the burning urge to leave and forget about the whole night.

- I don't like this. I don't like overthinking. If I run now, it's like nothing happened, right, I said, trying to catch my breath.
- It doesn't work like that and you know it, love. Okay, do me a favor. Take a deep breath.

I did as Chloe told me, watching my reflection breathe in deeply.

- Now, remember you don't have to overthink anything at this point. Make the most of today, if you are not enjoying yourself then come home. Don't let that big brain get in the way. Let it be what it is, not what it could mean tomorrow or in a week. 

Her ability to pull me back into the present was truly a gift. I smiled at Chloe's words, feeling a wave of calm take over me.

- Thank you Chloe, thank you so much.
- Anytime, babe. Now, go out there and enjoy your time with the popstar.

I laughed softly and hung up, holding my phone against my chest. Taking one last look at my reflection, I slid in my shirt and opened the bathroom door. The smell of food wafted through the condo, and I followed the delicious aroma back to the living room where Shawn was setting out the containers on the coffee table. The sea of the mouthwatering assortment of dishes spred before us caused my empty stomach to growl. He placed a few plates around to make it easier to sample the food.

- This is incredible, I said, eager to taste it all.

Shawn smiled, handing me a pair of chopsticks. I pulled apart the chopsticks and found myself torn between two options – the wasabi octopus entree and the roasted garlic shoyu. For a moment, the only sounds were the rustling of takeout containers and our appreciative hums as we devoured the ramen. The warm, savory food was exactly what I needed to steady my thoughts.

- So, your dad seems pretty excited about this party, Shawn said between bites.
- Yeah, he loves any excuse to get the family together, I nodded. And Grandma Lynn will be thrilled to have everyone around.