| 68 |
| 𝐇𝐨𝐥𝐥𝐲 𝐀𝐦𝐚𝐧𝐝𝐚 𝐕𝐞𝐫𝐬𝐚𝐜𝐞 |
I'm here.
I'm actually fucking here.
Dad doesn't meet my eyes as he helps me remove my bags from the car, along with Mom. The whole ride was torturously painful and silent. He still seems mad at me but not furious like he was last night.
The school looms over us like a nightmare with dark walls and a plain exterior. It was an entire two-hour drive. There are no signs of any other building or person for miles. It looks like some asylum for mental patients. Shivers go down my spine the more I stare at it.
I'm gonna be living here...for three months.
God help me.
When the last of my bags are out of the car, Dad stands in front of me looking down at me with hard eyes. I stare up at him, not sure what to say.
For a split second, I think a flicker of softness flashes through his eyes, but he keeps his guard well up. I know he's not mad at me anymore. He doesn't have it in himself to remain mad at anyone for more than a few hours.
I know he's doing this because he thinks he was too soft or wasn't strict enough that I went ahead and got myself into this deep shit.
This morning he made a huge breakfast with all my favorite dishes which tells me that he's not mad anymore. It still hurts though because he's not talking to me or even looking at me for more than two seconds.
It was hard getting into the car and leaving Castle. I slipped back into my room just in time before Dad woke up. When we had breakfast, Castle and I held each other's hands the entire time under the table, eating our food slowly to drag out time.
When I went to bring my bags down, he came up to help me and we had about two seconds to wrap our arms tightly around each other before Dad came up to help me too.
Castle said he didn't want to come along and I'm glad he didn't because I know it would hurt him more to sit beside me the entire car ride and not be able to say anything with Dad there. I don't think I could've kept my hands to myself too if he was there.
Dad clears his throat, swallowing. "Take care of yourself."
I blink up at him. Those are the first words he said to me since he told me to go to my room. Since then, he's been sending Mom as a messenger.
"I will." I give a single nod, then add hesitatingly. "Take care of Castle."
He nods. "I will."
Silence stretches between us.
Dad has his hands in his pockets, looking awkward as if he wants to say something more but he's holding himself back. He's saved when Mom steps forward and pulls me into her arms.
YOU ARE READING
No Shame in Desiring | 18+
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