Perfect Disaster-Charles Leclerc

Twenty three

CHARLES' POV

I let her go, once again, in her arms with my usual joke to infuriate her and she, as always, responded to my provocation and kissed him in front of me. My body hated every moment of her exit. I hated her last night after seeing her in the simulator, I thought she was going to crash into a barrier and I was afraid something would happen to her, it's not normal the simulator is like a game, you can't get hurt, the steering wheel shakes in your hands, but nothing happens but I can't let her get hurt again. Knowing about her accident was the hardest thing to deal with in the last few weeks, it didn't even hurt that much to see Max sit in the world champion's chair last year, stealing my dream. Now he's stealing from me a girlfriend, who as he says, I can't have, I don't deserve and who I hurt all the time. It was Xavi who gave me the communication on the radio

'max would like to retire because April had an accident' 

hole in my chest, a slap, a splash of cold water, the world collapsed under my feet. I felt an emptiness that I had never felt: I knew that it was me who had caused this 

"I'm retiring too" "

half the grid wants to retire, charles. Take the car to the end, there are only a few laps left" I didn't give a damn about the laps

 "how many?" 

"start the last one now" 

I pushed the car to the impossible, the rain was pelting down on us, on my helmet, my single-seater was an icy water bath in my circle of hell. I set the fastest lap record ever, not for me, not for Max, not for anyone else. The team wanted this and I had to renew my contract, one lap didn't change anything for me, max on the other hand still had two more to go and I wasn't going to wait for interviews or podiums - I needed to be with her. 

"I won't do interviews" 

"charles"

 "frédéric is not up for discussion, this victory is for her, for you, but I have to go to her, it's my fault she's there. I'll pay the fine. Thank you guys for your work" 

I ran to celebrate with the team, a fake smile was on my face, I knew I had to make the podium, everyone knew. Everyone knows what happens on the track, but not what's in the drivers' heads: I hated every single moment on the sub-podium. My heart was squeaking, I was the first one to be interviewed under the podium, I broke one rule after another, they gave me a longer interview and I understood perfectly well why: Frédéric wouldn't let me screw up a recovery like that on Max with a prank.

 "Charles?" 

Andrea was talking to me, but I could hear her distant voice, I had answered ten questions and I felt myself dying, I felt time passing too quickly and she was moving further away from me, from max, from lau, from Carlos. No one would ever forgive me if they knew what I had said or done. I hated her to the point of hating myself from the nastiness that came out of my mouth every time, but feeling my nerves tense, my body responding, burning, revolting for her drove me to exhaustion along with Max and her confiding to me everything she wanted to do to her, and I'm sure she must have started hitting on me, deepening their knowledge, fucking her and it sends me over the edge and for that I hate her even more. Love doesn't exist, she's right, every single word she wrote in that diary of hers is a well of truth. Love is a fucking invention of man and it hurts, hell hurts too though. I treat her badly because of that and I like it, I get excited every time she gives me a testy reply, when she tells me 

"you can only dream about Leclerc, one this good"

because my fantasy is to see her sucking my cock and throwing it back at Verstappen and telling the world.