Perfect Disaster-Charles Leclerc

twenty five

I never thought I could hear hell when it is silent, when it is deaf. Charles and I seem lost in our silence and I would like it to continue like this for at least a little while longer, but I am afraid. Afraid that tomorrow he will wake up and everything will be the same, afraid that his hard gaze will rest on me again after meeting this Charles, after experiencing hours of his soft gaze, of his clear eyes in mine. I saw again the boy from my winter dance. I saw again everything I had thought he was 

"let's go away" 

he whispers so that the others on the dance floor won't hear us, he takes my hand and no one in my whole life had ever made me feel like that. Max only had one ascendant: the physical one. And that good character that later turned out to be a rip-off, instead of Charles I already knew the worst 

"I should stay with Lewis" he blinks, looks at me defeated, like this morning and gives me a small smile

 "let's go, but I'm warning him" 

his gaze lights up in an instant, I walk towards Lewis and turn for just a second to admire him again as he checks my every step, I don't know if it's the power of alcohol over us, I don't know what we're doing, nor if I want to be dragged into the perfect disaster that is Charles, if it's worth betting on the disaster that I am, I don't know if it's worth betting on the disaster that we are.

 "Lewis, I'm walking away with charles"

 he tilts his head surprised for a moment and smiles at me, nodding immediately afterwards 

"did you find out what he had?" I nod without adding anything else, I feel the eyes of the whole grill on me, especially those of lando sitting a few steps away from me, I also greet carlos 

"keep your phone on, if you need me to pick you up or something happens call me"

 "sure lewis, but don't worry, it's nothing. From tomorrow we'll be back to business as usual" he laughs and turns to carlos 

"the problem with love is that it makes you blind. But go ahead, don't hurt yourself, how long have you been over Max? Hours? We talked about it in the car, I know you weren't in love, but take your time", 

Carlo points at Lewis to agree with him 

"do things in your own time, everyone knows charles has been an asshole for months" 

he turns to me with a smile but I had already decided to take my time, tomorrow I'm going home, I can't stay here, I have to get away from the world of the famous at least for a while and I'm lucky that at this party mobile phones are not allowed 

"if you see Laura say hello and update her"

 I try to look relaxed on the subject and I leave my two behind me. I make to turn back to Charles, am I hear his voice shout a few inches away from us and I immediately look for the looks from Lewis and Carlos 

"I didn't deserve her? You looked her in the face and lied to her, you betrayed her like five year olds after taking her, but that wasn't enough for you, was it? Max verstappen has to have it all"

 charles face is an inch away from that of the two, almost three, time world champion

 "she doesn't deserve it, you had the most precious thing in the world in your hands and you fucked it up. She didn't love you, maybe she was starting to given your deceptions, but you blew the chance of the millennium" 

I push him away and Lewis holds me back, my heart beating fast, I don't want either of us to get hurt, especially Char, at the moment Max, I don't even consider it. As nice as it was to have him for a moment, to think he was like I always wanted, but I had to wake up from a little girl's dream. People have flaws, you'll never find anyone the way we want them, precise, equal to our standard, and I had only idealised him.